The Armstrong 4

Update!

2012-03-02T13:57:00.001-08:00

So, another health update for Asher :)

We had his follow up yesterday and the results are great! No signs of any type of infection. Also, they do some tests on the biopsies that should show signs of prolapse or other abnormal functions of the colon and his came back negative - crazy! His Dr was even surprised. At our last visit, Asher had a prolapse while using the bathroom so the Dr was able to see it with his own eyes (and he's seen a pic I had taken) so he said "It's really interesting since Asher is obviously having prolapses." But, the good news of this is that his prolapses are not causing any actual intestinal changes - whew!

So, no Chrohns or other intestinal diseases so far. I'm so grateful! Next up is doing some more thorough allergy testing. They did a small range of food allergy blood tests and Asher came back with a low reaction for Rice, Wheat, Tomatoes, Potatoes and White beans. Hmm. Taking out all of those foods would be more than difficult, so that's why we'll see the allergist, see what is worse of all those and possibly cut out one or two at a time to see if that causes any changes with his prolapses.

We may also meet with a surgeon to start looking at the possibility of fixing his issue from a purely mechanical standpoint. We might just meet to ask some more questions about what to look for (in terms of his prolapses causing damage & needing to be corrected quickly) and what the long-term looks like for Asher. Asher's specialist said that he almost never sees adults still having this issue & that usually, it corrects either as a person grows or by having it surgically fixed. So, when Mark gets back from Germany we'll chat in depth about what we want to do next. It sounds like things are healthy inside of Asher for now, so that gives us great peace of mind & a chance to make some minor changes without feeling rushed to get the problem fixed right away.

As far as the house in Beaverton goes, we ended up saying no. I'm sad but also encouraged. I have an unexplainable desire to move in that direction - not rational (some parts are, like Mark's long commute, I suppose). I am having trouble deciphering where these desires are coming from - whether it's God leading us there or my own selfish desires. So, we've just been praying continually for God's direction. And with the house in Beaverton, what the owner was asking for us to do in order to move in was beyond the limit of what we had prayed about & decided.

All that said, life keeps moving forward! With Mark being in Berlin, Germany this week I have been a busy (and an extremely tired) woman!!! It has also reminded both of us that we need to take a vacation alone together. We have only stayed in a hotel for more than 2 nights alone once, and I was working 2 out of the 4 days and we both had family commitments the entire weekend. We never took a honeymoon and have only stayed in a hotel alone together more than one night ONCE since we got married over 8 years ago. Not to mention that even with the kids, we have only stayed at a hotel once or twice & only during trips to visit my parents... never just taking a trip to enjoy being together. So, I am excited to stay in McMinnville a bit longer in the hopes of setting aside some money for a nice trip for us, hopefully this year. There are so many places I'd love to see & take pictures of... I think I'll just be checking on Groupon a lot ;) Let me know if you have any great suggestions on places to go!

That's us for now. Both kids are missing papa this week but tomorrow they will be so happy & I'm sure bedtime will take some real work... but it'll be worth it to have my husband back! Honestly, Jesus has given me all I need (though I have not been the most gracious in accepting it) but it will be wonderful to have my husband to hug, talk with & enjoy the kids with - oh yeah, and share the discipline with too ;)

Asher Update

2012-02-21T13:46:00.000-08:00

No, not the typical kiddo update, but a medical one!

Asher has an endoscopy/colonoscopy tomorrow, so today we are doing the whole "clearing the intestines" thing. Plus, he has to only have clear liquids all day - jello, popsicles, juice, soda, water. Surprisingly, he's doing really well! He doesn't often drink a ton but without the option for food, he's drinking liquids like a champ!

If you think of us tomorrow, pray! His procedure is at Emmanuel at 10:30am, should be done by 11:30am, and leaving the hospital in PDX around 1:30pm at the latest. Thankful that we have good insurance & a great Dr.

We'll keep you posted on the findings (which I should receive within a week or at his follow-up on March 1st). They basically just need to see the inside of his stomach & intestines to see what kind of inflammation and/or damage there might be going on, causing pain, sometimes blood & his prolapses. Those results will determine whether we need diet changes, medication or surgery (or possibly all 3). All are possibilities at this point.

I will post a kid update too :) Asher is learning to re-tell information really well! He has a memory like a steel trap too. He observes so much on his own, without us pointing things out & will tell us all about it later. His attitude has been very on & off lately, but the last week has been a major improvement. I'm learning to let him be his own person, trying new techniques for helping him understand my job as mom while still requiring obedience, & encouraging him in the ways God has made him different from me. After talking with my mother-in-law & reading in a good book I realized that it's a stage for him, trying to gain his independence as a boy apart from me, his mom. When I give him credit for being different & independent from me, there are way fewer battles & I feel great fostering that "boy-ness" in him as well.

Asher enjoys running any and everywhere! He can run really fast for quite a while. He can also jump really far (boy after my own heart)!! Well, I feel like 4-5ft is pretty far for an almost 4yr old. Anyway, he really enjoys playing Candyland, reading bible stories, watching Dora & making up funny phrases & stories. He often says stuff like "Mom, tell me a story about you and your bike." Or "Tell me a story about going to the zoo." Love his little growing personality!

Last bit. We found a house in Beaverton. Our move in date is March17th. Craziness! I'm excited though. Mark and I just really feel like we need to just trust God's leading in our desire to move & step out, trusting that He's got good reasons for us moving out there. We've been praying for a while, especially praying that if we're to stay longer, God would just give us things to do here & the desire to stay, but our desire to go just kept getting stronger & stronger. Who knows, maybe this is one of those times where God just wants us to make a choice ourselves and trust that He'll use us & take care of us wherever we are. I'll give you more details on the actual house & neighborhood later...

Have a good week everyone - thanks for the prayers & I will do my best to keep you posted on Asher!

Crazy life.

2012-02-16T15:24:00.000-08:00

I realize I have not been posting very good updates lately - especially about the boys. They are ever growing, becoming so much more emotional (quite the challenge) and are never-ending bundles of energy. Recently, we took down the baby gate that leads upstairs, since Mark is no longer working at home & we can make all the noise as close to the upstairs as we wish. Well, for the kids, it has become their new favorite play place! They jump, climb, pretend they need saving & have all kinds of fun... and fights. So, please forgive me if I am not a bundle of joy myself today - I'm running low on optimism for several reasons :) Right now, I'm kind of in survival mode and it looks to be that way for a while. Life is not that bad, I'm very blessed & have all my needs met as well as many of my wants. Here's what life is looking like for me for the next few weeks... pray for me!

- to do in the next week: finish designing & printing 20pg booklet for women's retreat, finish designing & printing potential gifts, finish making slides for worship during women's retreat.
- February 21st - prep Asher for endoscopy/colonoscopy the next day - involves a clear fluid diet, lots of medicine to clean out his intestines meaning lots of time spent in the bathroom (while taking care of Cole).
- February 22nd - endoscopy/colonoscopy for Asher in PDX.
- February 23rd - recovery, dinner with our women's ministry before retreat
- February 24th-26th - women's retreat in Rockaway, OR - taking care of powerpoint for speaker & worship slides
- February 26th-March 2nd - Mark is taking a work trip to Germany, yes Germany.
- March 1st - Asher's follow-up giving test results, possible treatment plan, etc.
- sometime in March - making dentist appts for the whole family

I guess I'm feeling stressed b/c I know that even after all my obligations are fulfilled for Women's Retreat, I am 100% on-duty for the kids without even getting to say bye to Mark. That, and this constant up & down with moving, waiting, moving, deciding, looking at places, figuring out money, paying off bills that we have been delinquent on. I mean, we could focus on staying put & just keep paying those things off, but I'm not sure how much longer my sanity will hold up with Mark being gone for 12hrs a day, every day still knowing that eventually we will be moving. He has some other work-things going on with the other business he develops applications for so maybe that's the needle that is breaking this camels back. I'm a planner through and through, so waiting to move is torture... I figure, if we know we're going to, let's get one with figuring out all the details.

Anyway, I'm trying really hard to be excited, happy & positive about my role in all of these things... but it's been especially tough today. Things like letting the kids watch TV so I can get things done keeps making me feel guilty. I hate for them to watch a bunch of TV, but it's seriously the ONLY peace I get at home. Otherwise, kids are either fighting, talking to me, asking me questions, wanting me to do something for them, not obeying, making a mess or talking back. Add in being solely responsible for 3 full meals, laundry, cleaning, bills, errands & all the other random to-do's that come along with that and you have a recipe for exhaustion. I sure hope some of you can relate. With little boys, the attention span is smaller & their energy is incessant... just not sure how to cope today. I hate trying to take comfort in the fact that this stage won't last forever. I know it is true but that doesn't help me feel glad about being here now. I need to hunker down & trust that God knows I'm here & that there is some great purpose in it. Not just parenting my kiddos, but in shaping me for whatever is to come.

I've never been the type to want consistency or stability so much, but today, I just long for a place that is "permanent," my own, by myself where I can sleep, eat, knit, read & write without interruption and not think about everything that the next 2-4 months will be bringing my way and how it will for sure shift my world & daily life, much less thinking about all the ways it might could potentially shift our world (especially in regards to Asher). Again, this question of how to cope right now without wishing away the next 2 weeks. Pray for me! I guess that's what I really need :)

Belated Birthday Fun!

2012-01-29T17:04:00.000-08:00

So, my good friend Kristi took me out for a WONDERFUL belated birthday lunch & dessert. She's so thoughtful! She took me to Red Hills something in Dundee, OR then, surprised me by taking me to cross an item off my "30 before 30" list - going with a friend to The Sweetest Thing in Newberg!! It was delicious. And it was so great to get to spend a few hours without kiddos, having great conversation and building our friendship even more. Kristi & I are great friends, but we don't always get a lot of time with each other, mostly due to busy schedules and commitments we both have with church (& her with her daughter's school). I was so thankful for the time this week tho, and so blessed to have such a thoughtful friend!

Awesome Giveaway!

2012-01-18T09:02:00.000-08:00

I follow this gal named Mandy, and she is pretty cool. Keeps me thinking about important things in life with the additional fun, stylish & entertaining posts :) She is a really neat Christian woman, helpful wife & a mom to a little sweety named Lily. You should definitely follow her blog here!

Also, she is having an incredible giveaway, using jewelry from this company. It's such a great thing - making jewelry to support hard working women in Uganda, India, Ecuador, Peru... even refugees in America! Noonday Collection - definitely take a look at their site and follow their blog! Plus, they have links to so many other organizations committed to spreading Jesus' love around the globe - amazing stuff! Below is a picture of the necklace you (or I) could win!! Please check both these blogs out and help spread the word!

Today.

2012-01-14T19:49:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling such mixed emotions today. I cannot even think clearly enough to share them all. Feeling defeating, inspired, frustrated, time-crunched, motivated but tired, loving but drained - nothing too eventful has happened... just feeling such a whirlwind of the realities of life & the gospel. Hmm. I'm sure I will blog about many of these things soon enough - at least I hope!

Views on life.

2012-01-03T15:33:00.000-08:00

Funny how a few years can change things.

The past couple weeks I've had an awakening of sorts to a certain stereotype. I've heard so many women talk about the stigma associated with being a stay at home mom. I have always thought "Eh, not a big deal, it's nothing to be embarrassed about." Which I should say, I still believe is true! But, I'm not feeling it's truth like I used to.

As I am getting older I am seeing how many women are pursuing careers, getting an education or gaining experience in some type of field so that when their children are older they have something ready to pursue in case they need to (or if they just want to). No harm in that. Really, if that's what God is calling you to, by all means DO IT! But, I am now seeing that it really takes a leap of faith for me to trust fully in God & trust fully in the salary my husband has to NOT pursue any of that.

Really, I'm not trying to cause any shame to be had by any person who is pursuing a career while they have a family. I'm simply noting the change in my thinking about my particular situation. I am also noting the assumed perceptions of others. I see that when I go out with my two boys, I notice more and more career women & I also see various "looks" given to me for having time during the day (due to not having a job) to run errands with my children. This is part of my "judging" problem but I feel like I've been getting these "looks" lately: "Oh, you JUST stay home with your kids" or "Oh, you don't have a REAL job" or "You have all this free time because you don't really do anything besides being at home." Maybe it's just me, but I have been feeling that pressure to have a back up plan more and more. Not because I actually need to, but because of how it feels socially to not have any other plan besides raising children, serving my spouse and helping out whoever else comes along that needs help.

Right now, my husband has the best paying job he's ever had. Right now, I am super busy with two boys and don't really have time to work without taking time away from them. Right now, we are at a very pivotal point of either adding to our family or going down this road with just our two kids. It's so strange to be in this position and taking note of how the outside world perceives it. Right now, it is taking an immense amount of assurance from the Lord to be content and say "Whatever happens, God can handle it." I know this is true in every circumstance. But it's another thing to pursue a road of complete dependance on your spouse & his career while the rest of the world thinks it wise to create an extra path for yourself, should the worst happen.

Don't get me wrong, we have life insurance and I don't completely lack regular job-skills ;) But, I don't want to spend my time preparing for something that might never be needed. If I spend money & energy & time trying to get somewhere I might never need to be, well, that feels like a waste. But trusting in God's provision & pursuing what He's put in front of me is never a waste of a good mind (or a good body). It's so strange that our culture so little values the investment of a mother into her children. Or for that matter, so little values a person sacrificing themselves for another needy person.

I want to be content never having had a career or accolades or a bachelor's degree or any other thing as long as the people I love can say "She pursued loving others more than anything else." Often, a woman needs a college degree, or job experience or a plan to provide for her family. But right now, I don't have that need (notice I'm saying "I," not "you") & I desire to be content with the plan God has for me today - to serve my family and reach out to those in need around me. And I will do my best to not let the "looks" get to me ;) I really want to be so assured of God's work in my situation in life that the "looks" from others often change when they see my joy. Really, this is a great goal that can be attained by anyone in any stage of life - to be content with the purpose for today, enough to radiate joy despite circumstance.

Well, those are my "deep" thoughts for today. Just the realization that I am aging, that new skills, a new career or more education will be more of a challenge after this part of my life (or they might just take longer). But also the feeling & knowledge that it will be a worthwhile trade-off for what I have going on in my life today - loving and serving people :)

Again, this post isn't intended to be a lecture how every mom should stay at home with her kids, because that just isn't the truth. This is just a little bit on how I've noticed myself feeling the pressure to have something job-wise outside of the home. I hope you can feel my heart and my emotions in this, that overall, I just want to be content and assured in the plans God has for me today.

Another Year??

2011-12-31T15:09:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe that 2011 is already ending. I sort of had a resolution from last year - to not complain. I must admit, I did pretty well until just after my trip to Thailand. Not sure what happened there, but I want to keep that one up again this year. I think complaining is one of the worst things you can do to disprove how much you actually trust in Jesus - after all, if you really believe He knows best and has your best interest at heart, then you should be happy to endure whatever it is you're going through b/c you know He's got it, right? I think so & I want to live that way regularly!

There is another big thing I want to work on this year too. Grace!! I'm not a very gracious person by nature (anyone who knows me from HS or college has a good idea of this). I can be very judgmental and condemning. Instead, I want to live in a way that makes other people want to pursue a right relationship with God. Even with my kids, instead of showing them how sad & awful it is to not have a right relationship with God, I want them to see how great it is to have that relationship. Instead of being upset when I see a wrong-doing or injustice, I want to spend time praying for the situation and looking intelligently at what I can do about it. And if there's nothing I can tangibly do, to continue to pray and trust that God sees it.

Those are the big things: to not complain, to be more gracious. While complaining is pretty measurable, graciousness is a bit different. My hope is that I get to the end of 2012 and am able to take note of how my actions towards those I love are different and that (hopefully) others have noticed the change as well. I guess I will have to just aim high and trust that God will change me and trust that if I stay humble, He will help me take note in areas that need improvement or drastic change!

I also want to be more of a "doer." I know that many of my friends say "You are so busy" or "I know you have a lot going on" but I don't actually feel like I do that much!! I have a bunch of little things and your general life-commitment things like being a wife and mother, but I have so many desires and ambitions in my head that never come to fruition. It's frustrating. I know I could use my time better & I have LOTS of room to be more disciplined in areas like fitness, communication with family, spending time with important people (important to me, that is) and I am horrible at maintaining a clean, organized home. Ugh!! But, I have a few tangible goals in those areas (see my 30 before 30 list) so I'm hopeful that you, my friends and bloggers, can help keep me on track. With this, it will be necessary to toss aside frivolous hopes, dreams and potential outcomes and focus on the reality that only what I start doing is what will get done! True right? I cannot take time to daydream about being a great blogger if I never sit down and blog! I cannot daydream about being able to run 3 miles well without actually practicing running! I want to stop being the type of person who just talks about what they want to do and start being the type of person who gets a move on it.

So, here we are to my list of resolutions!!

#1 - No complaining! Sharing is okay mostly, but no bad attitudes about what is happening in life.
#2 - Be more gracious next year than I am today.
#3 - Be a doer!! Complicated, but possible. Take action to accomplish fitness goals. Take action to maintain important relationships. Take action to keep my home a pleasant place to be.

There. I think that's enough work for a whole year right?? If I have it all nailed down by February I'll let you know ;) I have so many thoughts about why these things are important to me, but I'll save that for another post in January (that whole taking action thing will be important to make sure it happens)! I hope that New Year's is a great time for you - that you find inspiration to live a life that glorifies God & trust that He will accomplish good purposes through you, no matter what kind of life you are coming from! Happy New Years!!

My list!

2011-12-24T16:14:00.000-08:00

So, I finished my 30 before 30 list! Pretty exciting stuff :) I hope that it will encourage me to make better goals to be active in enjoying the life I have. I feel so blessed about 90% of the time, and the other 10% I feel guilty because I know I am blessed but don't feel it. Anyway, I want to enjoy life, make the most of it and really encourage others to make the most of theirs too. I didn't really put any spiritual goals on there tho. That's more my like my "New Year's" type of thing. Which I will hopefully blog about soon.

So, look at the top of this post for my page that says "30 before 30" and keep me accountable! I'll be crossing things off the list as I do them. It'll be crazy to look at these a year from now. Hopefully I'll look back with joy and be ready to make another list of goals! Thanks for all the friends and family who have been and will be a part of my life... it would really stink without all of you :) Thanks especially to my dear husband who is great at encouraging me despite often feeling like he doesn't know how to help and for keeping me accountable without totally crushing my spirit! He really is awesome and I'm so glad God put us together and fashioned us so uniquely for each other. If you have a list of goals, please share!! I'd love to see what you want to do this year!

Inconsistency!

2011-12-09T14:04:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am so inconsistent! Sorry. Hopefully not many of you are dying to know what my life is like all the time... you could probably just check Facebook tho to get a general idea.

So, since I turn 29 this month, I am making a "30 before 30" list. Fun huh? Maybe, hopefully! I'm not very good at setting & accomplishing goals. This will be a good task for me. My hope is to stay on top of it... have goals for each season of the year so that way I can make progress all year. That's the purpose right? To make some goals that keep you thinking about what you want to accomplish in life. Now, most of these goals are not things that I really want to make sure I do before I die per-se. I just want to stay active & see to it that I enjoy the things God has given in life. This is weird to say, but if you know me well, you know I struggle with enjoying things. I'm in the middle of trying to unravel all of this, but it's an exhausting and complicated process. Hopefully, God will provide me pieces of clarity along the way.

One of the contributing issues is my strong desire to look good. I absolutely hate looking bad. Bad hair days, fat days, nothing to wear that makes me look stylish days - these are all small (and honestly, unimportant) things that cause me to have a terrible attitude. When I was in Thailand, about 7 days into the trip, I realized that I hadn't thought much about what I would be wearing. I was there to do something else - something important - so clothes didn't matter much to me for that week. Then I realized that at home, I CONSTANTLY worry about clothes. Maybe not always worry, but I think, plan, organize, long for more stylish stuff so often. Why? What is this desire to look good? Cultural, personal, sinful, distracting? I'm also unraveling this issue. I feel like if I was really, truly centered in God's love and earnest in pursuing the advancement of His kingdom, I wouldn't care so much about my clothes. Even when I know in my mind that it does not matter, even when I am at home all day & seeing no one, I still try so hard to look good & often am a terrible, anxious crank when I don't. I don't think I try to look good for anyone in particular, I just feel better when I do. So I cater to those feelings & struggle with how to handle them when I don't look at good as I want. Why do I want it so bad? Insecurity? Yes, probably a huge part of it!! And that's a huge inconsistency in my life - telling other's about God's love and goodness, but not believing it enough to give me security.

I've been dealing with that issue for a long time, but lately, it's come to my attention that if I want to serve God, to love Him and truly be active in experiencing His presence, I need to start dealing with it. Yes, our culture very much has an influence on this topic - how we look & feel about the way we look - but God is all about breaking cultural strongholds to give us freedom. I do want that, I just want to look nice while I have it. Ugh! So frustrating dealing with myself and my emotions and my trivial desires. And don't for a second think about telling me it's okay to want to look good - if you can find it in the bible, sure, tell me... but I'm pretty sure it's not in there. And yes, there are things the bible doesn't talk about that are good things, but the desire to be fashionable and beautiful is a distracting issue for me & causes my heart to wrestle and desire the world. That's really why I want to deal with it. I want to ensure that I am not a slave to the world (1 John 2:15).

Anyway, just thought I'd share my current "self" and tell all of you faithful followers that I'm alive and surviving :) Mark's job is a dream for him, and once we start getting paid I'm sure I'll be a bit more relieved & feel better about his time away from home. I'm super proud of him for landing such a fabulous job. Tons of people always tell him he's smart, but this is the first time his job has confirmed it too, and that's exciting! The commute is pretty awful, so at this point, we'll probably start looking at moving to Portland or the Tigard area towards February... we both feel like we just cannot justify 15-20hrs of driving all week. It's not the money or anything, just the time spent sitting around! If God puts it on our hearts to stay, by all means we will, but we've got to at least start moving in a direction and see if God blesses it.

Well, when I get my "30 before 30" list done, I'll blog again and put it up for everyone to see! That's scary - but, it'll be good because hopefully, it'll ensure I stay committed! Thanks for reading - pray for me if you think to!!

Cornerstone Simi Audio Podcast

2011-11-18T21:50:00.000-08:00

Check out this podcast on iTunes- I listened to this tonight as I walked & ran on the treadmill. Makes such good distinctions about sin & legalism. One of my all time favorites so far!

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=74283811

Sent from my iPhone

The Other Half of Friday - Thailand Continued.

2011-11-03T14:26:00.000-07:00

So, back where I left off...

During the rest of our training on Friday we learned about Thai culture. Interesting stuff! First, no one typically has furniture in the villages, and you want to do your best to sit with your feet covered - boy, it was interesting learning how to sit on the floor like that for 2 hours at a time!! Also, in Thailand, you take off your shoes before entering a house - sometimes even general public places, depending on how casual or formal it is. This got to be very 2nd nature (for the most part) and it was interesting to see how even little children who could barely walk and who did not obey their parents ALWAYS took their shoes off. Just goes to show how if something is ingrained and expected, kids can obey! We also learned that if a Thai person offers you a glass of water, you NEED to accept it... you don't need to drink it and you won't offend anyone if you don't drink it. But if you don't take it, well, you are being extremely rude and disrespectful. Also, if you are at someone's home and they say "Do you want a cookie?" you should wait until they ask the 3rd time to accept. If you say no, they will ask again until you either say yes or no on the third time. If you accept before the 3rd time, you are being greedy!

We learned a bunch more, but I cannot remember it all :) While I was there I did learn how to say "thank you" in 3 different dialects - Thai, Lahu and Lisu - that latter two are tribal languages spoken in the north. I also learned to say "hello" in Thai and Lahu, and "I don't understand" in Thai. Not a ton, but you know, it worked. I had a translator with me the entire time we were in villages (she was awesome, more on her later) and in the city we were usually with one of the Jessens (who all speak some Thai, except for the dad, Kelly) or Ben who is pretty fluent. All of the language stuff made me that much more determined to continue learning French here at home. Mark grew up in France and is pretty fluent and I've been learning a teensy bit and trying to learn but honestly, I've been slacking. We want to teach the boys while they are young, so I need to be a lot more dedicated. I know some Spanish (it's one of the most common languages spoken in the world) and since French is spoken in lots of places around the world too (Canada, France, lots of Europe, Haiti, some of Africa and some of Australia) I figure that's where I'm going to put my effort.

Back to Thailand - after lunch at the hotel we went out and about in the heart of Chiang Mai - Thai Pei Square. There is a built-in remnant of the moat that used to surround the whole city and during November, there are several Buddhist celebrations that take place there. Surprisingly, they are all very reminiscent of Christianity and Easter - water washing away our sins, lights & lanterns to send our prayers up to Heaven - interesting to say the least. It was pretty neat to walk around the city. Also pretty sad. You go so quickly from seeing something beautiful to seeing something tragic or disturbing. In general, people don't care about other people or cleanliness. It's so odd to me... as Americans, we like things to be neat and orderly. I actually spent some time talking with a few people on our team about this difference - whether it is just strictly cultural or personal or a Christian thing to want to clean things up. More on that later as well :)

During our short jaunt in the city, we were able to share the gospel with a Buddhist man named Amnoi (I'm sure that is not how you spell it, but that's how it sounds). He was receptive to hearing it but certainly bound by the fear of what evil spirits would do to him if he prayed to God. He admitted several things that were contradictory to his beliefs but could not make the leap of faith to trusting God instead. He said that he goes to the temple and offers sacrifices to Buddhist monks... did you know that monks only receive what people give them? So, their faith requires them to trust in other people to sacrifice out of fear for well-being in order to survive...??? It makes me so glad that my well-being rests in God's hands, regardless of how many people trust in Him. Interesting for sure. Anyway, we found many people who agreed that God seems more powerful and nicer, but they were still fearful. And you simply cannot talk someone into trusting God more than fearing evil, the Spirit has to open their eyes and hearts.

That was the hardest part of the trip - trusting God to turn people towards Himself. You see hardness and sadness and people despairing but still refusing to walk in His ways... I got very discouraged a few times about it. At one point I was wishing that Jesus would come back right at that moment and end all the despair and destruction. Even though I do look forward to Christ's return, I never longed for it like I did then. It's easy in America so think that things are good and well. They are most certainly not. Yes, I'm having a good time living here in McMinnville, Oregon... but that doesn't mean that I should take heart b/c of how good my life is right now. I should take heart b/c God has overcome the world! And many of you emailed me in my despair and reminded me of that. God has His plan, I can trust that it is good and I can be satisfied knowing that I was working in what God had laid out for me, accomplishing His work and that those people's salvation is not dependent on how well I tell the story or how well I show compassion. It's dependent on Him alone. That is mind blowing when you think about it for more than 2 seconds!

Anyway, that pretty much sums up day #1. Ha! I'll be lucky to finish sharing about this trip by the end of the year!! On another note, Mark is job hunting this week, and probably some of next week too. We're looking anywhere for IOS programming jobs... he's applied to almost 40 so far, has had some interviews and some appointments... we'll keep you posted! Mark's goal is to put a lot of effort into seeking out a job, and if one does not line up, we'll trust that doing all this stuff on our own without an employer is the route to continue on. If he has several offers... well, we'll see! Keep us in prayer as this may require fast thinking with lots of wisdom. We both trust that if God moves us somewhere crazy, that's where He has ministry for us (besides the actual income-earning job). Hope you enjoy the Thailand photos!

This food looked so appetizing and scary at the same time - any guess for how long those bowls have been sitting out there?? Eesh!

One of the many temples scattered every few blocks throughout Thailand.

Everything is very ornate in Thailand.

Very golden too!

They sure know how to make buildings look pretty.

All the details are beautiful.

One area inside a gated temple where people can burn incense and make offerings.

A truck of Monks catching a ride. Jerek (a guy on the trip) thought this was awesome :)

Another area where a person can leave offerings.

I was extremely happy to end the afternoon with Starbucks! Although, they did not have the Chai concentrate to make my usual drink but my smoothie was still delicious :)

My boys :)

2011-10-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

Hanging out in the back of the van - love these kids!

My kiddos.

2011-10-29T18:56:00.000-07:00

I know I'm due for another Thailand post, but the last few days I've enjoyed my kids so much I just want to post a little about them.

Asher is getting to be such a big kid! He knows all his letters, knows what many words begin with by sounding it out and has started to ask what certain words spell when he sees them. Mark downloaded a little iPad app where it teaches you to trace letters and Asher has REALLY been glued to it. The week before I left, Asher was drawing inside of bubble letters, almost like tracing... so, in the next month or so I will try getting him to do some pre-school type of work - tracing inside letters and stuff like that. He seems very driven to learn so far!

Asher is also a GREAT big brother. At bedtime, Mark often asks Asher to go get Cole's PJ's. He ALWAYS brings back a matching pair! We've known for a long time that he is very observant and it's only becoming more and more apparent. Asher also does a great job giving Cole kisses and hugs before bedtime and nap time. He often asks to come in and give Cole a kiss while I am tucking him in for nap. Mark has been working on teaching Asher manners and so lately, once finished with a meal, he says "Mom, can I be excused?" in the sweetest little voice you ever heard! Also, he clears his dishes, gets a wipe, wipes his hands and face & always asks "Does that look good?" before he throws the wipe away. Love his cleanliness and consistency!

This conversation happened at dinner:

Asher: "Mom, the (awee ens) will hurt my eyes!"
Me: (thinking he is pretending) "Oh, the aliens will hurt your eyes huh?"
Asher" "No mom, the (oeeons) will hurt my eyes."
Me: "Oh, the ONIONS! Yes, that's right (insert muffled laughing)."
Funny.

Also, I mentioned the word diarrhea at dinner (I know, so taboo, but it happens when you have little ones sometimes) and Cole breaks out singing "Rio" over and over... cracked me up! Then, the Rio song became Caillou (which we no longer let the boys watch because he is bossy and disrespectful - not to mention annoying). These kids crack me up!!

Cole has been such a sweety lately. I just love him to pieces. A couple times this week when he has been very close to getting into something, I said his name an "no" very loudly, to which he started pouting and almost crying, tearing up and sniffling, coming over with his head hung low - the most darling thing ever! Cole "says" a lot, but I don't understand it all - or, sometimes, I'm the only one besides Asher who understands... and often by luck and observation, not due to any real clarity :) Asher has become a pretty good translator.

Cole has started to hum and sing songs a lot more now. Anything he hears on the radio at a store, or songs we sing or songs on shows. He's just starting to pick up on it & mimic a lot more than before. He's doing simple shaped puzzles and really showing enjoyment in things like reading books and playing with his animal toys. And of course, he often brings 4-8 stuffed animals to bed every night, and you never know which one he will "demand" once he's already in bed. Last night is was the green stuffed pig from Angry Birds - but of course, he always NEEDS his monkey - we don't know how long he would cry without it, we've always found it within half an hour of putting him to bed (knock on wood).

Just now, Cole took off his shirt all by himself (first time ever) then proceeded to use it to wipe off a long string of drool that landed on his tummy. I tell you, he is the funniest little kid ever. Maybe it's the perpetual look of mischief on his face and his adorable orange & blonde hair, but I find him SO adorable almost all of the time! The other day we went out for a walk and he would say "Ah dee dar," then I would say "You see a car?" and he would reply "yeeeaaah" in the funniest little casual, hilarious, drawn out way possible. It made me laugh out loud at least 5 or 6 times. Plus, the way he dances during credits at the end of a show really cracks me up - especially the half scared-to-death, half having-the-time-of-his-life look on his face is priceless. And last tid-bit, he really hates having his pants off - he always gets really distressed and starts whining "pants" over and over until you explain why he's not wearing any or put some on him. Total opposite from Asher who loves to run across the entire house and fast as he can in just his underwear :)

I've really enjoyed being back home with them. I definitely find running a household a more difficult task than doing short-term missions, but it's one that God is making me better at each day (or at least each month I hope)! Food planning, health issues, dealing with discipline and training... these can get complicated really fast! But, I'm so glad to have two amazing boys who make me laugh all the time. And I'm so thankful for a husband who is a great dad and can pick up my slack willingly and lovingly. I feel like there is rarely a dull day and rarely a day where I can't find a bunch of reasons why they are all super fun to be around. I'm very blessed and hope that I handle this responsibility with much thankfulness and enthusiasm. I wasn't always happy or excited to be taking care of them, but I'm glad God is changing me into that kind of person - it's WAY better than being grumpy, fearful or ungrateful. If you're in that pit now... trust me, it's better to be out, no matter how much you want to stay that way! You won't regret it!!

Okay, tomorrow, I'm a bit busy with a photo-shoot (as long as the rain holds out) so, no promises on a Thailand post, but I hope so!! Thanks for keeping up - I'll put up a photo of the boys from yesterday in another post here in a minute...

First Few Days.

2011-10-27T13:49:00.000-07:00

The first few days in Thailand were pretty neat. Simple, learning lots of cultural stuff and information about HIV & AIDS, seeing a bit of the city in person and getting to know our team.

The information we learned about HIV & AIDS was pretty stunning - the life expectancy, the way the virus attacks the body and presents itself & also the hope that medicine has brought to people who have it. I had learned a lot about AIDS from a book my best friend Chelsi had recommended called "There is No Me Without You." I'm still only 2/3 of the way through it, but it's a huge book and a very emotionally intense one at that. Anyway, it was good to gain this information and face the reality of what we (Christians) are doing and not doing in regards to those living with HIV or AIDS.

It's different in the US too. I'm not sure what insurance companies do for those living with AIDS here, but in Thailand you have to be a Thai citizen & then the government will pay for it. However, you have to be born in a hospital to be a Thai citizen, which means if your mother wasn't a Thai citizen and wasn't allowed to travel far enough to get to a hospital, then tough luck! There are over 40,000 births each year that go unregistered - and therefore, over 40,000 new people every year are not Thai citizens. There is a process for becoming a Thai citizen, but again, you need to be able to travel to government offices, sign lots of paperwork, have witnesses who will also travel to government offices, etc. Unless you are very educated (which you wouldn't be unless you were a Thai citizen since you wouldn't have any schooling if you weren't) you would really NEED an advocate to help you navigate all the paperwork and processes needed to become a citizen. It's really strange to realize how a government truly prevents people from moving forward in life, but Thailand is definitely one of the places around the world in which this goes on daily.

Matt came in a spoke with us regarding Human Trafficking on Friday as well. Matt works as one of the directors at Breanna's House of Joy & he is from the same church that all of my team is from. Ben is another person from that church who has ended up working at Breanna's House of Joy as well & he spent most of his time during that week coming with us to villages and everything. These guys are so great. Really on fire for God, serving faithfully and joyfully - they really brought a lot of encouragement and optimism to this group.

Anyway, Matt shared all the horrifying statistics, the sad corruption of government that enables these situations to keep happening, some individual stories and some information about best practices to end exploitation and trafficking. In Thailand alone, 9.4 million people are trafficked each year. And while the sex industry is huge, most of trafficking is simply forced labor! One man was forced to work on a fishing boat off the coast of Thailand for 3 years!! Another woman was a slave in another woman's home, locked up in a tiny bedroom & forced to clean from 5am-10pm almost every day for 16 years!!! But with the lack of education, people don't know their rights, or, since they are not a citizen they don't have hardly any rights, and therefore, they just wait until someone helps them or they finally get desperate enough to attempt escape. This 9.4 million does not count many people who are either killed while trying to escape or people who never confess what they were forced to do (which is VERY common in Thailand - cultural). All of this was incredibly sad to hear and only confirms the depravity we suffer due to our sin nature. It just makes me more glad to serve a God who hates these things and is providing a way out for those who call on Him. We just want more people to realize that He is God, He is powerful & He is worthy to be trusted.

During our first Friday, we also went into town. I have a bunch of photos from that, but I'll post those another day along with more info about what I saw and learned during that time. I feel like I will probably have to blog about 3-5 times per day of my visit! I learned so much, experienced so much and I know that God brought out a lot of things going on inside of me during this time. So, enjoy a few pics - this is the first hotel we stayed at for 3 nights. It is a Christian place where many missionary families come to spend a few weeks during a break or for having a baby - I guess Thai hospitals are very nice and very cheap - think $700 for a c-section :) The picture of the woman is my roommate Angel - more on her later!! Thanks for catching up here - stay tuned every couple days for a new post...

Our comfy little beds.

And our cozy little Thai cottage :)

Everything here was very Thai and so beautiful! This was our little cottage from the outside.

Stepping outside was so neat - like you were just walking into the jungle, but on a paved pathway.

Beautiful walkways, gorgeous architecture... loved it!

The floral landscaping was awesome. And here's Angel, taking it all in!

Back Home.

2011-10-25T14:44:00.000-07:00

It's great to be back :) I'm so thankful for the experience, for how God is changing me through it and getting to be a part of how God is changing the people in Thailand.

One tidbit about my view of this trip. I was thinking I would be very saddened about the state of poverty in the villages in Thailand. I was really surprised that it didn't bother me. I actually looked at all of it and thought "Okay, I can see how people do this and I could see myself here if I needed to be." I was more sad about the way people dealt with living in poor villages. Sad about how people don't see living righteously with faith in Christ as better than turning to sell drugs to help meet the needs of your family. I was sad to see the lifestyle of careless living (in regards to children peeing on the streets and carelessly dressing & throwing garbage anywhere). I was sad that the villagers do not care for one another or help care for children who are orphaned or living with a grandparent because their parents left. In fact, in Got Pa Bong, one grandfather was in prison for trying to drown his 2 year old grandchild because he did not think he could continue caring for him.

All of these things make me grateful for living in America. Although more people don't consider America a "Christian Nation" anymore, our principles were founded on Christianity and at least most of our laws and moral standards and government assistance programs come from the viewpoint that people are of value and that we should help each other. Our values are similar to Christian values still and I am grateful for the intervention that happens to protect people. Granted, we have a long way to go and we have also strayed a long way. Abortion, drug abuse, physical abuse and gay/lesbian marriage are ways our country does not follow Christ, but I am still grateful for foster-care, for adoption, for the notions of personal rights (not taken to the extreme) and basic assumptions that we should all live somewhere safe from weather and harm, rights to have clean drinking water and programs to assist the hungry and homeless. These DO NOT exist AT ALL in Thailand, much less in northern villages.

So, today, I'm just taking in the things that America has that I am blessed by. It has been so nice to brush my teeth using water from the faucet - such a nice convenience! Also, to be able to drink clean water at any moment I desire, for such a low cost! To be able to trust that the city works daily to provide this for everyone - it's great & it's much more of a blessing and rarity than I realized. I encourage you to think more about the conditions that we have in America that we consider a "right" and learn about the ways other countries handle these things. I think you'll be surprised to find that many of them in many countries are "luxuries," they are things that each individual is responsible to handle themselves.

Here is a photo of a temple in downtown Chiang Mai. So beautiful and ornate. So sad that a huge percentage of the country is deceived into thinking this is how they ensure a good life forever - sacrificing goods and money out of fear of a bad life. I'm so grateful to serve a God who sacrificed for us, not the other way around! In some ways I know God better now, and in other ways He is even farther above my understanding. I'm very blessed to have gotten this opportunity - I'm sure I'll continue to say that forever.

A temple in downtown Chiang Mai.

The Last Village

2011-10-20T18:35:00.001-07:00

The last Village.

We had a really good day at the village yesterday. I spoke with 3 women in 3 different homes and all were very receptive to Jesus. One woman said she wasn't ready to make a decision so we prayed with her & about 2 minutes later she said "okay, I'm ready to confess & follow Jesus!" It was so cool to be there for that!

The other two women said they believe Jesus & that he is the only way to God, but just kept saying they couldn't decide right then. They were both about as close as you can get to accepting Jesus without actually accepting Him (hope that makes sense)! I am confident that they both will soon - one of them came to the church service at night!

This village was so different from Got Pa Bong. I was mostly talking with people from the Karen tribe (a northern Thai tribe) & none had fully heard the story of Jesus. I wonder how many more there are in that village! My teammate Jerek had met with a family & had felt like they were hopeless - he felt like they were offended by him but they still showed up to the evening service too! You can tell that many people there desire to know the truth & are looking for more than just a better life.

I have been so blessed by my translator this week as well (her name is Ratana). She is so devoted to God, has great intuition about people & what they need to hear, she was always looking for ways to help me & never tried to just say what she wanted instead of what I was saying. People just love her too! Most people were receptive to her, opened up easily & often invited her for lunch. She encouraged me multiple times when I was despairing for Got Pa Bong - I cannot say enough good things about her! She also let me use her phone to call my husband, shared Thai goodies with me & gave me a foot massage... I wish you all could meet her :)

Today, we'll be doing some debriefing, riding elephants & get settled in Chiang Mai for a couple more days. Crazy that our village time is done. I enjoyed it thoroughly! While being there from 10am-8pm was not my favorite thing, I could see myself doing something like this long term or maybe just often. I felt some of my gifts in discernment & teaching were very helpful & also confirmed by others who have only just met me. God has done such a work here in these villages & with all of us - I'm about ready to sign up on another trip!!

Thanks again for all your prayers & for the encouraging emails! You'll never fully understand how they have all been perfectly timed & so dear to me. I'll be home in a few days & can't wait to write more about all I've seen & heard here in Thailand. Praise God for all He does.

Last day.

2011-10-19T17:53:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was our last day at Got Pa Bong. It was a little surreal. I enjoyed parts of it, but because of how the pastor prefers us to "work" there was a lot of down time & not really any door-to-door type of anything. We had an incident with a young married woman & the issue of how the church helps a person who needs help but isn't following Christ. I see it as an opportunity for the church to express grace & love, but they seem to not want to help. It was not fun.

I am very sad about this village. There are 75 families & at least 60 of them have one member (or more) involved in some type of drug or alcohol addiction. Many families turn to selling amphetamines to earn an income. There are lots of complications with living in these northern Thai villages - many people do not have citizenship & cannot travel freely, they are not allowed to move or expand the land of their village & their education & lack of critical thinking make for a very bad combination. That said, God can change their hearts & radically change their village, but most seem unwilling to see the necessary spiritual change & are focused on the drug/money problem. They look down on those stuck in one addiction but allow family members to live at home while intrenched in a similar addiction.

I truly believe that if these people are willing to be changed, their circumstances will not have the same pulling affect on them. But sadly, many just hope for a solution & just pray for a fix in circumstance rather than a change in their lives.

Sadly, I too struggle with this. I am blessed to not live in a place where there is not opportunity to work, where I have loving Christians around me & that God is changing my heart. I know that selling drugs or working to produce drugs will never be something I turn to... but I often seek a change in circumstance rather than a change in heart. I'm blessed to see this connection & hope that it sticks!

We are going into one more village for one more day. Tomorrow we will be debriefing & heading back to Chiang Mai. Pray that the people in this village see God in us & feel His presence. Thanks again for all your encouragement - I'd be lost without it!!

Another day!

2011-10-18T07:24:00.001-07:00

Today was far more encouraging than yesterday :) It helped to get so many encouraging words from all of you - thanks for that!

Several men in the village confessed to struggling with addiction & asked some great questions about sin & the Christian life. I'm blessed to be a part of it & thankful that their salvation is not left in my hands... I felt much more able to leave that up to God today.

Well, I'm exhausted, so I'm heading to bed! Keep praying for our last 2.5 days here in the village. Thank you!

Village day!

2011-10-17T07:35:00.001-07:00

So, today was our second day at the village but our first real day of "work." Hmm, what to share?

I had some great discussions with my group of people in the morning. It was me, my translator & about 8-10 people from the village. We talked about loving God with all your mind, strength & soul, the Saduccees & Pharisees, the story of Joseph, the problems of the village & dealing with sin in each others lives. We talked for about 3 hours! I hope that it is really fruitful in their lives.

The locals asked us to stay for lunch & my translator gave me the go-ahead, so I joined in despite having packed a lunch. It was DELICIOUS!!! Later, I found out that it wasn't chicken, but monkey... hmmm... still not sure how I should react! I'm still feeling healthy so far :)

The afternoon was pretty uneventful. Chatting with the kids & our translators, playing/watching some pickup volleyball, more sitting trying to stay out of the rain. After dinner (another local meal, but less tasty & less suspicious meat) we each had one home to go to & share the gospel. This was definitely the sad part of the evening.

This family had only the elder mother as a believer & her daughter-in-law was visibly very ill. Very, very ill. No one was too impressed with the story of salvation. One man asked why if God loves us, he would send us out of the garden for eating one piece of fruit. I explained that it wasn't the fruit, but the content of our heart & their response was "eh, oh well." So sad. Clearly they are not at the place of accepting, but hopefully what they heard sticks with them.

I also shared the hope cube that has information about HIV & AIDS. I was later informed that this girl has indeed tested positive but since she was not born in a Thai hospital, that does not give her citizenship & thus, she cannot get ARV medicine. I really am begging God that she would see the hope there is in Christ before it's too late.

While this village has electricity, it is still very poor. Homes with spaces between every board, lots of drug usage & selling, broken homes, fathers in jail, children without parents & Christians who lack motivation to share Jesus with their unsaved friends. I desperately hope that God changes this village soon, they need it.

I don't really have any closing thoughts... we'll see how tomorrow goes! Hoping for a day with a little more encouragement. I know Jesus can save, but I'm very scared of how long depravity might rule here. Today was the day I've most desired for Jesus to come right now. I'm sure the next few months of my life will include a lot of praying & processing all this. But still, I'm very grateful to be here despite the spiritual challenges. Thanks for your prayers!

Serve Day.

2011-10-15T06:35:00.000-07:00

Like these photos? Apparently, my arms don't do well with volleyball anymore :( It's not super painful & it actually kooks pretty cool. My other arm has the same looking blood blisters but no major bruising.

Today was incredible! Sweaty, but incredible. We started off with team devotions reading Acts 4. We did some discussion at the "hotel" and then finished up while we were riding to Breanna's House of Joy (BHJ). It was really neat to just converse about how God worked through the early church & how He works now, realizing he desires us to have the same boldness, humility & generous hearts as the early believers. There's something so special about getting to share with other believers - especially believers I don't know well, since I feel more able to listen without judging or prejudice (something God has been working out of me).

When we got to BHJ some of our guys started working on the patio while the other few plus us girls started playing volleyball & soccer, attempting to engage the young girls. It was a very hot day so not many were too interested. But, a few girls were dancing & listening to music, so I went over, watched a little & asked one of the house-parents to translate for me. Several of the girls were more than willing for me to teach a little ballet!! It was very fun! They even performed a dance for us that they had been working on!! So sweet :)

Lunch was delicious! I am loving Thai food even more than before I came here!! I got to chat with 2 other house parents who are native to the United States. I was so blessed to hear about their travels & where God has been using them the last 20 years.

After lunch we got to work on the patio some more. We got to sit through 20 min of POURING rain, watch & listen to thunder & lightning & thoroughly enjoyed watching some of the very young girls play in the huge puddles & sand. We got a good portion of the patio set, but did not have enough pavers or time to finish it all.

After that, Matt (former young adult pastor of the Woodland Park church where all of my group is from) took us to an amazing coffee shop. I had a Thai iced tea which was delicious & crazy cheap! Super close to the ones I get from Thai Country in McMinnville :) I feel so blessed to be slowly acclimated into this mission trip life - some are far more strenuous & tiring! I'm sure I'll be tired by the end of the week, so I'm thankful for the slow start.

On the way home, I started noticing how almost every home had a "spirit house" somewhere in front, decorated a put on a pedestal. It's sad to find that about 90% of this country is blinded & deceived into thinking that appeasing tiny gods who have no home & can't even open their own foods will gain them eternal happiness. Or actually, in Buddhisim, Nirvana is nothingness - no pain, no joy, just nothing. How does a person live their life serving something completely invisible in hopes of having such mediocrity?

It makes me very grateful to know God & look forward to His promises but also very scared & sad for this country. Satan is doing a terrible work here & he needs to be stopped. Please pray that God would go before us & prepare people, to make them ready to hear the truth & ready to question what they've been told about their powerless gods.

There's so much more I want to share! About my teammates, about Kenneth with SIM who shared about HIV & AIDS, Matt & the trafficking issue... so much to say!!! And DO! Stay tuned & maybe I can update again tomorrow :)

First full day.

2011-10-14T03:24:00.000-07:00

Today has been good. We started the day off with some trainings on HIV & the hope cube, human trafficking and some general cultural information. After lunch we did some wandering & my little group got to share Jesus with a Buddhist man. I pray God uses our words to impact him & reveal the truth.

We ended our time downtown at Starbucks! Yay!! The weather is nice, hot & humid. Not terrible tho, just sticky. We're going to have dinner soon, hit the outdoor pool & do some sports training. Tomorrow we'll help put in a cement patio at Breanna's House of joy... cannot wait! I'm adjusting to the time change really well & am feeling good :) Thanks for your prayers - here's a pic of Starbucks in Chiang Mai!

My team.

2011-10-12T13:49:00.001-07:00

Here are some of the members of my team: Jarrod, Angel, Kristen, Chad & the ever affectionate Jerek. Nate & Stephen are already in Thailand getting things settled for our week there. I'm now on a plane, just about to take off for Seoul, North Korea! Good times :)

At the airport!

2011-10-12T08:37:00.001-07:00

Here I am! I made it this far!! And I'm not throwing up, whew!

I'm actually really excited to go. I was too sick yesterday & last night to feel excited, but after deciding not to take the Malaria pills, I am feeling on the upswing & ready to enjoy this time. I feel so honored to get to do this - I certainly don't deserve it, but I'm going to make sure & really enjoy it!

Pray for continued health, travel safety & great bonding time with my team. Stay tuned tomorrow!

Going to Thailand.

2011-10-03T21:14:00.000-07:00

As my trip to Thailand fast approaches, it has been very difficult to gather my thoughts. Several people have asked me if I am excited... and I've said "Eh, not yet." Not because I am not actually excited, but I am not currently "feeling" excited. I think if you are a woman, you probably understand the frequency of emotions you feel not being reality :)

I have many things to set in order before I go. I still have many activities to attend & serve at, or be served to - including: speaking at a prayer summit, having a prayer time with our church's women's leadership, date night with Mark, date (and shopping) night with Kristi, meal preparation for while I am gone, having guests over for dinner, photo day with Dar, finishing organizing my babysitting help list, possible photo shoot for a wonderful family - yeah, it's a little crazy. But, one by one, things are getting knocked off the list.

I have almost everything I need. Well, I say that and am reminded that as long as I have Jesus, I have everything I need. It will be very humbling to try and tell desperately poor people that Jesus is all they need, when I often complain at home about not having what I need. But, in all honesty, I complain because things are not how I would prefer them, not because things don't work according to God's plan. So, on my trip, I will often be attempting to remind myself that I have Jesus and God's plan is being played out in my life, therefore, NO REASON TO FRET! I desperately want to trust Him more. And not just say that I trust, but feel that relaxed feeling of truly knowing He is in control for His good purposes to come about.

I was so blessed to hear the Word preached at our church this week. It was from Titus. God really encouraged me that I am on His path and to not let my desire to do more for Him get me discouraged, but to trust that it means I am following Him. I really felt humbled and blessed that He would encourage me in this way - it's a daily struggle for me to combat being drawn into the world and desiring earthly treasures. I just need to keep taking deep breaths and praying for His goodness to sink down into my heart.

I am excited to go. I'm nervous about the heat (I'm such a wimp, but I get so sweaty!!) even though it is really only going to be around 80 degrees and 80% humidity. :) Told you, wimp! I know that once I can see what it's like, it will be easier for me. I don't like to go into things without knowing what it will be like - this is the same reason why I generally despise buffets... too much unknown without instruction. But, this is not a buffet, and God knows everything and He will tell me what I need to know exactly when I need to know it.

You can pray that I can get everything lined up for my husband and children smoothly. I don't want to be a basket-case the week before I leave! Pray that the people in Thailand would see God clearly and see their need for Him. Pray that as people turn to Jesus, He would truly transform them and give them a desire to serve and grow in faith. I will have my cell phone with me, so I will try to post pictures and write about how the trip is going... no promises tho, you know me! Thanks for all your prayers so far - I'll be writing again soon!!

Summer is gone.

2011-09-23T15:14:00.000-07:00

Summer what not what I expected. In fact, I'm having trouble recalling what I even did all summer!! I know I was tired for a lot of it. I suppose I could look back at my calendar and try to piece together the weeks. My back problem was definitely flaring up and I think that causes a lot of the fatigue. Mark's work has been busy, unable to predict, made us a little on-edge a good part of the summer and so that combination, with having 2 young boys, I didn't do much of what I hoped. I had planned on painting a bathroom, stripping and painting a wooden chest I have, putting up coat-racks and shelves... yeah, none of that happened. I had also really hoped to get to the track at least twice a week and put in some good workouts, play tennis or go jogging in the evenings with Mark once a week... yeah, neither of those things happened either. I found that it is very difficult to spend time exerting yourself when you are exhausted at least 5 days of the week.

So, I don't have a ton of fond memories of what I did for myself this summer. However, I did read some great books, knit a few blankets (including one that I had been working on FOREVER!), went to my HS 10yr reunion (part of it), went to the Zoo with the family, went to the beach with the family, went to Saturday Market a few times with the family... we did lots of little things. Overall, I'm a bit disappointed in myself, but I hope to learn from it. I can't let my lack of motivation turn into lack of doing. I have to trust that if I keep at something it will be easier to continue and grow in it.

I want to make some goals for the last bit of the year, and since Mark and I are heading out of town without the boys this weekend I should get to do it! We're going to Hood River to enjoy some quiet time, sleep, pizza, beer, maybe some yummy baked goods - it's long overdue! And I really look forward to being able to share with my husband the things we've learned this year and kind of come to a consensus on where we want to go and start a plan (written in pencil since things change so fast) on how to accomplish those things. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted on anything major :)

My trip to Thailand is coming up, less than 3 weeks out! I'm mostly ready I think. I have a few more packing details to take care of, get some meals planned out, get some daycare lined up and finish some studying. I think it's going to be amazing! More details on that next week - I think I'll try and promise that one, k? Thanks for keeping up with me despite my lack of keeping you up to date! Happy weekend everyone!!

Good times with my little guys!

2011-09-17T09:12:00.001-07:00

I love these two boys and can't imagine how boring my life would be without them :)

Great Article!

2011-09-15T14:57:00.000-07:00

I read this great article today. I found it off of femina.com, a Christian woman's blog. She writes a lot of great stuff, but this article is actually by Joshua Harris. Anyway, if you are a Christian parent, or if you plan on homeschooling, it's a must-read! So much great encouragement about what God desires us to be for our kids and do for them. It's mainly about the idea of not sheltering, but building up in preparation for the attack from the world. Yes, there are times and seasons of sheltering, but not complete holing-up without explaining any rhyme or reason, and certainly not at the expense of your children knowing that you not only love them, but like them.

Anyway, take a look! You won't regret it.

http://www.joshharris.com/2011/09/homeschool_blindspots.php

A World Full of Hurt.

2011-09-07T15:40:00.000-07:00

I cannot escape all the pains of people I know who are suffering right now. In fact, as I go to pray for these individuals, I can barely concentrate on words to say because I recognize that I only feel an ounce of their pain. I have 4 individuals/families on my mind most recently, all enduring extremely difficult circumstances. I am going to keep them anonymous on here, though many of you may know them well.

Family/Single Mother#1 - Has 4 children. 3 of her children were adopted from a relative and she doesn't not know the scope to which abuse may have occurred. Neglect was certainly prevalent. Child #3 is a boy (about age 10) and is experiencing major challenges in obedience, self-control, using hurtful words - in all of this I mean that he is freaking out over doing simple chores or tasks, throwing objects while kicking & screaming in "time-out" in his bedroom and saying mean things to his mother. His father (this woman's husband) left the family about 3 years ago and you can see that this young boy is really struggling. He is very sweet but also has some issues with appropriate attachment. He behaves SUPREMELY in front of most male adults, but has a different spirit when alone with his family. Pray that he will see the love of God and desire to be loved and love others too.

Family #2 - Young married couple with 2 children found their youngest (a boy) growing sick last week. Long story short, after super scary side affects and a risky surgery, they found that he has a form of Leukemia. It is a very treatable form, but still, for a 6 week old baby to undergo chemo and dialysis... well, they needs lots of prayer. Their oldest is just over 2 and is well taken care of by her grandparents during this time, along with visits to mommy & daddy. The parents love the Lord and are encouraged to have an answer for his illness. However, they have a long road ahead of them as their boy will have quite the physical trial to overcome.

Family #3 - These parents lost their firstborn baby at full-term with no real explanation. Their child was born and was unable to breath on her own but no tests ever came back conclusive as to why. This couple also loves the Lord and trusts in His strength and they will soon be welcoming a baby boy! Pray for them to have peace, that their little boy would be born with full health and plenty of crying & vigor! Pray for the mama to really have God's inexplainable peace enter her heart so she can relax and be joyful in the expectation of their son.

Family #4 - I do not actually know this family at all. They are known by a good friend of mine. This family had a young daughter who was found to have a rare kind of bone cancer. During her process of chemo and surgeries, the young boy in the adjoining room was pressed upon the family's heart. It turned out, he was almost the same age and had the same exact type of cancer. The family noticed that the boy rarely had visitors and came to find that he was in foster care, but that his foster parents could not care for him much longer. The family adopted the young boy and both children grew healthily - for a while. (This family does have several other healthy children as well.) Several years passed and the young brother fit in perfectly with this family. He also came to know Christ as his savior. However, in the last year his bone pains came back and the cancer had been found to spread throughout his body, into his lungs and he passed away this morning. Pray for this family, that they would be blessed to have brought this child into their home and been people who lead him to the Lord. Ask God to ease their pain and bring them peace, being joyful knowing that their son is no longer suffering.

This week, I have a much better perspective on the world we live in and the God I serve. I am seeing that God's range of emotions are so much wider than mine and it brings me to tears to even fathom the depth of pain He feels for people who are hurting. It has also made me recognize that His emotions regarding my sin and disobedience are probably more painful than I recognize too. It has made me see that there is not much greater joy than to assist in relieving the hurts of those I know. I see that only God can truly wipe away tears and I am moved beyond words to think about how amazing it will be when He does that permanently. I truly cannot comprehend what that will be like! I see too, that there are people EVERYWHERE hurting, all hours of the day around the world. I am frightened a bit thinking that I will likely witness much of this while in Thailand. I'm not sure how I will keep myself from bringing hurting children home with me on that airplane or from crying during most of my trip.

All this to say, please pray for these families. And please, recognize the hurt around you and know that God will bless your efforts to help those people. He desires His love to be known, and He can do that through us! I desperately want to be a part of that because then, I will really see God in motion and there's nothing else that is better in life than that.

Some Minnesota and Cole's Birthday Party.

2011-09-05T13:34:00.000-07:00

Fun fun fun! There is simply too much to tell! Here are some pics from one of our days in Minnesota - unfortunately, I did a terrible job at taking pics! It can be kind of exhausting to try and take pictures all day while trying to take care of your little one :) Still, I got these pics from a park in Minneapolis. They had this awesome water feature plus a playground - the slides at that playground were like rockets! I literally had to catch Cole flying through the air too b/c the slides ended about 2 feet above the ground... it was fun tho :) Here are some of the water pics...

This is such a Cole face!

How awesome is this place?

So happy.

Not sure what this face means, but it is funny!

Next up, Cole's Birthday party! We held it at a newer park in town & it was a blast. We brought Gma & Gpa's basketball hoop to let the kids make hoops and gave them some candy for participating. Cole just loves basketball so we did a whole sports theme! He was the most cheerful kid ever! Especially while opening gifts - he looked completely overjoyed with each present he got. He sure is adorable! Here are some pics from that!

Having fun.

Ready for cake!

Albertson's Special :)

Yum.

Asher has a thing for drinking fountains lately.

Love this pic - Will turned 4 just 2 days after Cole turned 2.

Asher loved his blue tongue!

The Barnhart boys gave their Buzz toys to Cole - so sweet!

And Cole LOVES them!

"Mr Incredible!"

Can't believe my littlest man is 2!!

Asher time.

2011-08-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

This is Asher this morning at our front door. He was rather disappointed to find that after chewing on his Lightning for about 15 min that it was all messed up. He did the same thing yesterday with a popsicle stick... hopefully that lesson will sink in :) Good morning from us!

Had to post!

2011-07-29T15:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know I just posted on my bible blog, but as I was weeding through computer files I came upon these from Cole's first birthday... so sweet, I had to share :)

The look of wonder on his face is so endearing.

"Yeah, I'm eating a cupcake, what's it to you?" Doesn't this picture just make you smile?

Giveaway!

2011-07-20T11:19:00.000-07:00

I've never really refinished any old furniture... but I have 2 items I want to work on this summer (better hurry I guess before it's gone) and I often check out Julia at 551 East Design. Her blog is super cute, her furniture is amazing and she is giving away a sander!! Take a look, enter to win and become addicted ;)

Pray for me!

2011-07-18T14:25:00.000-07:00

I'm not likely to get too specific, some of you know the intricate details of my life, and so you'll know what I'm talking about. But for some of you, you'll just have to hang in there and pray, trusting that God knows what you're asking for.

I've been so stressed lately! It's been unbearable. There are so many swimming thoughts in my head about finances, business, travel, children, food, health, diet, pain, Dr bills... looking at all of this written out wants to make me cry. Mark and I have always had a lot going on and we've certainly had our share of financial crises. Lately though, I feel like no matter what happens, no matter what great things come along, we just keep getting further and further behind. I'm super frustrated with paying for insurance! Why is it that when I don't have insurance, I end up paying the same about of money to my Dr as when I do? Really, why bother paying for insurance then? Oh yeah, just IN CASE someone in our family has cancer or gets in a terrible accident or becomes near deathly ill - that just cheers me right up!!

Anyway, lately, I've had lots of things to pray for. Friends, my best friend, her baby, friends facing difficulty, my own mental state, our finances, my sister's job, my children and husband, etc. And it's easy for me to go to God with confidence that He will take care of them. But I don't have that same confidence when I go to Him with my own requests. Why is that? How is that? I guess b/c I know my own human-ness, how I mess things up and how I am so selfish and discontent. A very possibly, really fantastic opportunity has come up for Mark, but it's not super long term, and b/c of some secret details, we just don't know how it will change life in general, what will happen once everything is settled and what that company will be doing 5 years down the road - it's complicated and I'm not worried about Mark being able to get a solid IOS programmer job - he totally could. I just can't share all the details, sorry. But, I'm just really having trouble praying about all this. I wish I could go to God, say "Hey, this seems good to me, make it happen if it is, let if pass if it's not" and be content. But I'm just afraid that we will be forever in this perpetual cycle of life, trying to get ahead/not get any further behind. Then, I think of my mission trip coming and think "maybe it was a bad call financially." And many people in the world probably think so, many Christians probably think so, but does God?

I desire to trust God far more than I do. But I cannot get there on my own. Will you pray for me? Even if you think my trip to Thailand is a bad idea (cost of passport, shots & leaving my family for a small time), will you pray that God will use it for His glory and be pleased with it? I know I struggle with inadequacy in my spiritual life and in most realms of life, but I cannot overcome it unless God does it for me. I'm feeling so emotional and girly today, ugh! But really, I don't want to live in fear b/c I know in my head that it doesn't matter if I'm poor or starving, I know that what counts is what Christ did on the cross and I'm grateful beyond words to be a child of God... but I see that I am not really willing to be poor, needy, hungry and at a constant loss for His sake and I know as a Christian, I should be. So please, just pray. I hope that this encourages at least someone that these struggles are not for the select few, but that many of us face these daily. But God can overcome, I know it.

Thailand in October.

2011-07-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged much about this subject yet... I'm sure there will be more posts soon to follow tho! So yes, I am going on an "expedition" (as e3 calls them) to Thailand from October 12th-24th, 2011 with e3 Partners Ministry. And yes, we will be recruiting help for Mark :) It's weird to think I will be gone from my family for that long... I wonder what that will feel like. Will I miss them terribly? Will I be so engulfed in the new place, the work at hand, that I don't have an extra few minutes to think about them? Will the foreign land make me miss them more? I have so many questions, I cannot even keep them straight in my mind.

If you want to be on my prayer team, please let me know! I'm planning on sending prayer updates every other week or every week... we'll see how time goes :) I need people to pray for me now! I already know that Satan will try to undermine God's work, starting with the common ways He debilitates me at home. I need people who are with me in doing God's work and stopping Satan from hindering me while I am gone, and I need to make sure that starts at home. You can start by praying that the planning part of me would rest easy in God's purpose. I begin to think about how less than 1% of people in Thailand call themselves Christians... I cannot fathom how this came to be! How are there countries that are free religiously and yet still completely without the knowledge of Jesus life, death and resurrection? Anyway, this gets overwhelming to me fast and I need to remember that God's purpose is so far beyond my ability to understand. I keep trying, but I cannot, and I need to not let that send me in a whirlwind of questioning God's purposes and not be overwhelmed at the enormous task of God bringing people to Himself - He's got it! I want to trust that 100% and I am not close to that now. Don't get me wrong, I know it is true, I just need to let go of my pride and my own idea of what's best and recognize that God is so far beyond the best plan I could ever come up with.

So, that's just a small peek into what's been weighing on me lately. Please, if you want to commit to praying for me every week until my trip, and then every day during my trip, let me know! Give me your email! Don't let the thought of it intimidate you... if you miss a day, God can still take care of me. But I know how rewarding it is to pray for someone overseas and then later learn of the amazing ways God revealed Himself to people in a far distant land... you don't want to miss out! Keep checking my blog for updates on trip information, fundraising info (you can donate online at www.e3partners.org/joellenarmstrong) and general updates on how I'm feeling and what I'm learning. I'm sure God is going to use this time in my life to prepare me for other events in my life. Exciting, scary, weighty, intimidating - lots of things, but definitely all good! Thanks all, you'll be hearing from me.

Homemade Granola! Courtesy of Kelsey :)

2011-07-11T17:13:00.000-07:00

My jumper friend from college, Kelsey Cantrall, gave me a recipe for homemade granola a while back. She boasted that her boys LOVE eating it for breakfast so I thought I'd give it a try! This has a few little modifications... but seriously, it's simple, quick and SUPER DELICIOUS! My boys will eat it everyday, multiple times a day if I let them, until it is all gone... about 4 days later. And for a bonus today... I have a few pics of it. Enjoy!!

Ingredients:
- 4 cups quick-oats
- 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
- 1 & 1/2 cups sliced almonds
- 1 & 1/2 cup dried cranberries
- 1/2 cup shredded coconut
- 1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/4 cup canola oil (she uses coconut, the recipe said cooking - use what you want!)
- 1/3 cup agave nectar (it calls for honey - I've done both but prefer the agave - I get it at Grocery Outlet for cheap)
- 1 teaspoon vanilla

Directions:
- preheat oven to 300 degrees F. In a large bowl, mix the oats, flour, almonds, dried cranberries, brown sugar, salt and cinnamon. In the microwave, gently warm oil & agave nectar (or honey). Stir in vanilla. Carefully pour liquid over oat mixture. Stir gently with a wooden spoon.
- spread granola in a 9x13 baking dish. Bake 40 mins, stirring carefully every 10 minutes. Transfer granola-filled pan to a rack; cool completely. Seal granola in an airtight container. Store at room temperature.

* the original recipe says to add in the dried cranberries after the granola is done, but I like to have them be a little chewier and have that baked taste. I actually kept forgetting & just dumping them in, but hey, I like it anyway! You can try both and see what you think!

Kiddos!

2011-07-07T20:26:00.001-07:00

I love this pic! Asher looks so big to me!! This is a picture of Cole, Analeigh (turned 2 at the end of May) & Asher. Analeigh's mom is Mary, Mark's sister. We all went for a walk yesterday when Mark's mom had Ana for a while - it was hot, but fun! By the way, Ana is just sitting back on the bench further than Cole - they are actually about the same height, tho Coley has a few pounds on her :)

John

2011-07-04T15:17:00.000-07:00

This is a great book so far! I'm only about 1/4 of the way in, and I have to admit, I am quite the Beth Moore fan, but I can tell that this book will stick with me. It's a great mix of the historical accounts of Jesus and his disciples but it is not lacking in heart and insight. I've always loved the book of John and been so curious as to how these people were with Jesus - I actually took an amazing "Writings of John" course in college and that was very inspirational as well. And when I say inspirational, I guess I more just mean that it motivated me to know more about Jesus and the bible - not gooshy, feely, all emotional-like inspirtational :)

Anyway, if you're looking for a good read, this will keep ya going for a bit!!

Ugh!

2011-07-01T14:58:00.000-07:00

I'm realizing how bad I've been about blogging. I'm on track to only post HALF as many times as I posted last year - eesh! I guess I hesitate to post a lot for many reasons: 1 - time! 2 - no pictures or video to go along with what I'm planning on sharing 3 - I don't know what to share! My mind is often spinning incessantly with different ideas, theories on life, theories on Christian living, problem solving ideas for my kids (sometimes for other people too depending on the situation). I hate getting on here and just "chit chatting" but then I realize, I just never write! So, here's to just writing something totally random.

Today, we were having a small picnic in the backyard and Cole fell backwards off the seat at the little-tykes picnic table... not a far fall, but right into the rod-iron leg of grandma's sun chair. As I lifted him up I saw something on the back of his head and then soon realized, it's blood! It was just dripping and dripping and dripping. But, I got it to stop bleeding within a few minutes, thankfully! Asher got me my phone so I could call Mark, have him get me Cole's binky, monkey and a new shirt. I was actually really glad I had cut his hair just 2 hrs before - less mess :) Anyway, it was still kinda oozing, just a teensy bit, and it was naptime... what to do? I put a 3 inch bandaid on his head! I had no clue what else to do!! I guess I could have just put a towel down under his head, but the bandaid (while a weird solution) seemed like the best solution at the time - we'll see when he wakes up and I try to take it off. But, I think we might be heading to the mall tonight, so I might just leave it on until later? But what about riding in the stroller with a yucky, half-wet scab? These are things you don't think about until your kid has a huge gush on the back of their head. Ah well, he was happy within 15 minutes or so afterwards, so we weren't dealing with pain or anything, just mess. We'll see what happens later today!

Now, this topic is touchy. And I want to write more about it, but I'm bad at writing thoughts down as they come, so I don't have much "saved up" yet. I know most of us women struggle with our appearance. But it makes me really sad to see so many Christian women letting it get themselves down, or constantly seeking to better their appearance, or just catering to feeling bad about it by "fixing" the problem areas. Exercise I totally understand - you just feel better! And it's good to be healthy. But the constant getting hair & nails done... I just don't get it. Well, that's not entirely true, I get it, but I don't think it's good that I get it - make sense? :S We are people, we are driven towards beauty and it really, truly feels good to look lovely. But as Christians, shouldn't we recognize that any feeling of goodness we get from our appearance is really just vanity? In fact, I often feel bad realizing that it's so easy for me to feel good or bad based on how I look each day. It's human nature, yes, but don't we have Christ's Holy Spirit living in us, reminding us that the joy in the glory to come is enough for every day? When we live happily simply b/c everything about our appearance is falling in place that day, well, doesn't that just tell us that our joy is misplaced? I have trouble with this b/c it's a daily struggle for me, but I've come to a point where I recognize that I am struggling with sin (vanity), not just feelings or hormones. And I just wonder if maybe us Christian women are neglecting the fact that good feelings based on appearance are passing, fruitless, vain and generally, a big waste of energy. Shouldn't we be aiming for a more permanent joy instead of problem-solving our appearance until we are content? Seriously, point the finger at me first, it's a daily struggle! But we've got to start fighting it!! Don't you think?? I want to fight it, but I find that many women don't, and even go to lengths to make excuses for it. We need to hold each other to a higher standard!

And our appearance is just one spot of this issue of discontentment. Really, I think most sins come down to discontentment. So many daily choices for me come down to discontentment. But I said this in January, and I am still saying it today - it's worth fighting discontentment every day! It's worth it to abstain from complaining every moment, every day! There are few things we need in life, and in America, there is little to complain about. We complain b/c we look at what other people have, or pretty much, whatever we don't have. I want to look at the life I have in Christ and let that be enough to swallow every bit of discontentment and every complaint left in me - it's worth it 100% of the time. Even if I have nothing on earth, it's still worth it to have joy in Christ... we'll all see that once we die, I know it.

Anyway, that is my random blog post. I definitely want to write a bunch more on that topic of discontentment... it is part of my plan for the year but it hasn't really happened yet... guess I better get on it!! Thanks for reading :)

Asher & Me - Updates!

2011-06-29T16:21:00.000-07:00

So, I realized the other day when my big sis called (sorry Naomi, I WILL call you back soon) that I have not updated on my blog about Asher's CF test results. I know many of you check on facebook so I kinda forgot to put that up here - sorry!!! The test results came back negative! Yay! But, his stool samples all had either yeast, while blood cells or red blood cells in them, so he's on a daily pre-biotic for 30 days and will have another stool sample "taken" and see how that's looking. He's also on Miralax every other day to make sure he isn't having any bouts with constipation. Hopefully, a few months of clearing things up and getting his diet in line will get him to a "normal" place with all of that.

My update - no, not pregnant - is about Thailand! I've been wanting to go somewhere else in the world to help another ministry and just experience how God is moving in other cultures for some time now. So, after hearing my friend Scotty share about her trip to Rwanda with e3 Partners, I figured I should just do something with e3 Partners too. I mean, they have a great model for establishing & helping local churches and it was so amazing to really see that when people say God just needs a person to be willing to go, that it is really true! Scotty met a 76 year old woman in Rwanda who lived in her village her entire life - Scotty was the 1st white woman she EVER met! And, that woman realized that she needed to either accept Christ or deny Him, and thankfully, she's accepted him! Most of the people who came to accept Christ's gift of Salvation are now attending a small home groups as well as their local church, which grew significantly with the help of e3.

You see, most of the local churches there are comprised of new believers who may not even own a single bible in their native language! They just need a little training & encouragement to be bold and seek out the people in their village and pursue them with God's love and truth.

Anyway, all this to say, I am signed up and on the way to going to Chiang Mai, Thailand from October 12th-24th with a Sports focused ministry! I'm so excited! It's been a long time since I've done the wordless book or even shared the main points of knowing Jesus as your Savior. In fact, it's got me wondering why I don't do it more often. I find it sad that in America, people "know" about Jesus, but because of self-sufficiency or just contentment with the world, people don't care to actually make a choice - that choice really is God or the world. And, believe it or not, even when we think we haven't made a choice, we have... because there really is no in-between!

So, I want to chase after God and His purposes. In Thailand, less than 1% of the population are Christians even though it is a religiously "free" country! Families often participate in the slave trade (selling their children) or prostitution to keep their other family members fed. We want them to know Jesus, to learn that He is the only sure thing, and that harming others to provide for your physical needs is the worst thing you can do for your eternal state.

I'll keep you posted as my training for going to Thailand progresses. I have a site through e3 Partners where you can get information about their organization and where you can also donate for my trip - click here! Please take a few minutes to browse around. Also, if you are interested in becoming a prayer partner during my adventure, please let me know and I'll add you to my list! Thanks so much and you'll be hearing from me soon :)

Motherhood & Mission-hood.

2011-06-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

My friend Kelsey posted this on her blog today - if you're a mom, you better read it!!

If you are a mom, please take a few minutes to read this blog post fromDesiring God. I hope it blesses you as much as it has blessed me.

There is a good old saying, perhaps only said by my Grandfather, that distance adds intrigue. It is certainly true — just think back to anything that has ever been distant from you that is now near. Your driver’s license. Marriage. Children. Things that used to seem so fascinating, but as they draw near become less mystical and more, well, real.

This same principle certainly applies to mission fields too. The closer you get to home, the less intriguing the work of sacrifice seems. As someone once said, “Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help Mom with the dishes.” When you are a mother at home with your children, the church is not clamoring for monthly ministry updates. When you talk to other believers, there is not any kind of awe about what you are sacrificing for the gospel. People are not pressing you for needs you might have, how they can pray for you. It does not feel intriguing, or glamorous. Your work is normal, because it is as close to home as you can possibly be. You have actually gone so far as to become home.

Home: The Headwaters of Mission

If you are a Christian woman who loves the Lord, the gospel is important to you. It is easy to become discouraged, thinking that the work you are doing does not matter much. If you were really doing something for Christ you would be out there, somewhere else, doing it. Even if you have a great perspective on your role in the kingdom, it is easy to lose sight of it in the mismatched socks, in the morning sickness, in the dirty dishes. It is easy to confuse intrigue with value, and begin viewing yourself as the least valuable part of the Church.

There are a number of ways in which mothers need to study their own roles, and begin to see them, not as boring and inconsequential, but as home, the headwaters of missions.

At the very heart of the gospel is sacrifice, and there is perhaps no occupation in the world so intrinsically sacrificial as motherhood. Motherhood is a wonderful opportunity to live the gospel. Jim Elliot famously said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field.

Faith Makes the Small Offering Great

If you are like me, then you may be thinking “What did I ever give up for them? A desk job? Time at the gym? Extra spending money? My twenty- year- old figure? Some sleep?” Doesn’t seem like much when you put it next to the work of some of the great missionaries, people who gave their lives for the gospel.

Think about the feeding of the five thousand when the disciples went out and rounded up the food that was available. It wasn’t much. Some loaves. Some fish. Think of some woman pulling her fish out and handing it to one of the disciples. That had to have felt like a small offering. But the important thing about those loaves and those fishes was not how big they were when they were given, it was about whose hands they were given into. In the hands of the Lord, that offering was sufficient. It was more than sufficient. There were leftovers. Given in faith, even a small offering becomes great.

Look at your children in faith, and see how many people will be ministered to by your ministering to them. How many people will your children know in their lives? How many grandchildren are represented in the faces around your table now?

Gain What You Cannot Lose in Them

So, if mothers are strategically situated to impact missions so greatly, why do we see so little coming from it? I think the answer to this is quite simple: sin. Discontent, pettiness, selfishness, resentment. Christians often feel like the right thing to do is to be ashamed about what we have. We hear that quote of Jim Elliot’s and think that we ought to sell our homes and move to some place where they need the gospel.

But I’d like to challenge you to look at it differently. Giving up what you cannot keep does not mean giving up your home, or your job so you can go serve somewhere else. It is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.

It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions, but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.

God loves the little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied. And even then, there will be leftovers.

Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She is the author of "Loving the Little Years" and blogs at Femina. Her husband is Luke, and they have five children: Evangeline (5), Daphne (4), Chloe (2), Titus (2), and Blaire (5 months).

Just stuff!!

2011-06-24T13:38:00.000-07:00

I feel like life is flying by these days. I always wish I could blog more, but I honestly don't know where I'd find the time. My best friend Chelsi is due with her 3rd baby in just 4 weeks! I'm planning on flying out to "help" at the end of August with Cole, but we're hoping that all 4 of us can go. I'm bummed b/c last night we missed out on a really good/super cheap deal for tickets - we just don't have all the money and are trying not to be frivolous... it's tough! But, I'll just keep praying and hope that God will make a way for that to happen.

I wanted to blog a little about the boys - they are getting so big! And doing so much!!

Asher:
- can fully zip his own sweatshirt - bottom to top!
- can buckle himself completely in his car seat - he even shuts the car door once he hops in :)
- is pretending A LOT! Pretending we're robots, that the floor is water, that something he's touching is hot, that he's flying, or that his toy is flying. Funny stuff.
- clears his plate all on his own after every meal.
- remembers TONS of stuff that we don't realize he's even listening to.
- asks me if it's okay to say things - we noticed that in one of his movies it has a few words like "dumb" or "stupid" or things like that, so now he'll say "Mom, is it okay if I say oh my goodness?"
- sometimes, he just comes up to me, almost crying and says "Mom, I just love you" and gives me a hug. Don't know why or how it started, but it's SO sweet!
- likes to help put ice in our water bottles, waffles in the toaster, help measure ingredients while cooking, throw out the dirty diapers, etc.
- has terrible allergies! We spent several hours, several days in a row outside, then on Wed his eye swelled up SO badly that's it is just now almost all the way normal. So, hopefully the end of July will be the end of his allergy season - one can hope!

Cole:
- talking like a champ!! - "I want din(ner)." "I want siss (kiss)" "I got" "take bath" "gwink (drink)" and so many more!! He'll say lots of things that are slurred together but are in "sentence" form like - go for a walk, play outside, go downstairs, have a chip, want an orange, where's the phone, I don't know, want my monkey (which is: want me me-me), read a book, have some gum, have some (insert anything he can't have), went pee-pee (which is actually always poo-poo). It sure is fun hearing him talk!
- gives Asher sweet kisses before each nap and bedtime :)
- is usually still awake at 8:15/8:30 everytime we put Ash to bed, even tho he's been in bed since 7:30... he welcomes Mark with a big "HI!!!"
- mimics ambulances and fire engines to a T!
- loves chewing gum & hates the sun in his eyes.
- has been SOO much better in the car lately - phew!
- loves slides, hates swings.
- loves going out back in grandma's little pool!!
- gives the best little kisses - a full on "mwah"
- the other day, Mark was feeling ill, so I took the boys out to lunch by myself. As we left the door, Cole looks back at Mark and blows him a huge kiss with two hands and huge smile, it was so adorable!

It's so hard to just list out all the fun & interesting things the boys do every day. But they are a hoot and we sure love watching them grow!

One last thing. I changed my business name (for my photography) to Studio 327, after the verse Proverbs 3:27. Someone very local was using the name Joli Photographie (compared to my JoliPhoto) and since I hadn't bought an official business license in several years, I just decided to change my name. It was about time for an overhaul anyway! You can go to my semi-finished site at www.s327.com and check it out! Refer me please!!! I'll give you free prints or even a Starbucks card :)

Thanks for checking in - enjoy your summer!

Asher.

2011-06-06T13:33:00.000-07:00

Hey friends, I have some info about Asher that hasn't been completely public, but I wanted to put it on here to make sure everyone knows what's going on.

Last summer Asher began having rectal prolapse about every week (sometimes more, sometimes less) and throughout the fall/winter it was pretty minimal with the help of using MiraLax. However, his Dr now has become a little more concerned after seeing an actual photo of what was happening - yes, we had to take a photo, kinda yucky - and now we're taking steps to find out what the actual problem is. About 33% of people who have rectal prolapse have Cystic Fibrosis. I know lots of people have heard about CF but only really in regards to severe cases - it may not be as awful as it is portrayed, more details below. Asher was tested last Friday but we have yet to receive any results, despite being told we'd hear from them on Friday evening. It is a pretty specialized test, basically not used for anything other than testing for CF, so we had to drive to Salem to get it done.

It was not too bad. They put little discs of a substance connected to little electrodes that make a small area of the arm sweat. Then, after 5 min of that, they strap on a little disc that gathers the sweat over the next 30 min. Once collected, they measure the amount of chloride in the sweat. You see, people with CF don't absorb salt or fat, so their sweat is EXTRA salty compared to people without CF. That is also where all the coughing comes in... salt helps break down mucous in the body, and without enough salt, mucous builds up in many areas, especially the lungs. That is why people with CF cough a lot (mucous and often blood from the intensity) and suffer from different respiratory infections.

So, Asher doesn't really have any other symptoms at this point besides his skin tasting salty sometimes. He does cough a bit sometimes after his naps, but not enough to really alarm me when he doesn't have a cold or something. However, Ash does sweat a lot during his naps and nighttime, so the saltiness could just be from that. Somehow, I have almost complete peace in this. While it feels a bit weird knowing that this week I'll have this piece of information either changing our lives or just redirecting the Dr's efforts, I'm really not worried. God never promises anyone a certain amount of years. And if Ash does have CF, God knows it and He already knew before he was formed inside of me. Even from a worldly standpoint, if Ash does have CF, he does not have a severe case (at least for now) and many people with mild cases live even until their 60's with this disease. I know that in the worst case scenario, God will glorify Himself through our family and through Asher. And best case scenario, God is still glorified and we are so thankful for the peace He's given us!

I will likely post again once I have results from the Dr. Pray that God continues to give me peace. And while you're at it, pray that God gives me wisdom in parenting Asher lately - 3 has definitely been worse than two! ;) He's emotional, expressive, demanding and particular - whew! We've had some rough outings lately! While we have our rough days, I can tell he is learning and growing in new ways every day. Some of the things he says just crack me up!! The other day, Ash was asking Mark to pick him up, after which Asher says "Now I can see EVERYTHING!" And the way he always asks if he can come running with me or tries to mimic my exercises... we sure do love this kid! Here's a pic from our last trip to the beach... hopefully more trips with be in the near future!!!

My First 5k!

2011-05-31T22:02:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty excited that I actually signed up to run a 5k. I am also, sometimes, totally out of my mind! ;) I have been "training" for it for a few months - nothing completely consistent until the last month tho. And let me tell you, I really stink at longer distances. I know, 3 miles hardly counts as a longer distance, but for me it does! Until college, I had never run further than a mile. And even the miles I had run, were just a few timed runs for school, not EVER on a regular basis. In college we did a lot of 20 min runs and it was rare that I made it the whole way without walking - maybe 50/50.

Some of you probably saw my post on FB about the run and in an effort to encourage me, my older sister said something like "if all else fails, run a 10 min mile." Problem is, I barely make it 1.5 miles running slower than that! I know, I told you, I really stink! But I am getting better and I hope to make the whole 3.12 miles without walking!! Eek!

So, this week, I'm running at least 4 days a week (compared to my regular 3) and I plan on trying to make it over 2 miles of solid running at least once this week. I also plan on driving the route of the actual race and possibly taking the boys on a run through part of the route, since it is within walking distance of my house.

I've really gone back and forth about if I want people to come and "watch" me run. I loved having people come and watch me long jump, high jump and hurdle, and if it was a good day, I didn't mind the audience for triple jump either. The 400m was never an event I trained for, but somehow, I got wrangled into running one for a relay a few times. My most embarrassing race ever was not actually the 100m hurdle race where I fell over the first hurdle, but actually my TERRIBLE 800m at the end of my heptathlon. I think mostly, these longer races really prove that I have no guts! When the rubber meets the road, I'm tired of hurting, tired of trying and would rather quit than get a bad time. Bummer. I hate admitting this about myself, but I'm trying to deal with it and I know this is an area of my life God desires me to have His victory in. I need to worry less about appearances, give my all, trust God will sustain me and let that be enough. I don't need to be better than someone else, even though it drives me and frankly, it's more fun! I just need to focus on working on the things God puts in front of me! This is so applicable in SOOOOO many areas of my life.

No sighing though! It's time I dealt with it!! So, my race is June 18th, here in McMinnville, starting at 9am. You can view the route of the race here. It's for the McMinnville Habitat for Humanity and I'm happy to be running for a cause that tangibly helps people. While I'm still not sure I can meet my goal, I'm becoming a bit more confident that I'm close. I think if I can get a 2.5 mile run in before the race I'll be a bit more determined :) And let's all pray that I have the guts to stay determined and push through in my last few weeks of training and during race-time. Depending on how this goes, I might also run this race - The Bowerman AC. If Tracy gets her butt in gear, her and Mark C. might run too!

Thanks for following my sparatic blog posts... maybe someday I'll be more diligent, but, not likely this month - well, maybe ;) You'll just have to check back to find out!

Jimmy Eat World - Live!

2011-05-20T08:14:00.000-07:00

Last night, Mark and I had a fabulous time seeing Jimmy Eat World at the Wonder Ballroom in Portland. It was awesome! I've loved their music ever since Mark introduced me to them when we were first engaged. And now, I just love it even more! They had great stage presence, were not crazy wild but totally into their music, they sounded great live, the venue was awesome - definitely one of my favorite dates with Mark :)

Anyway, if you've never heard of Jimmy Eat World, I suggest you go and buy a couple of their CD's, if not all of them! Futures is one of my favorites. And Bleed American is definitely a classic, and I believe many of you know the song "The Middle" off of that album - it's in a lot of movies and shows.

So, here are a couple of videos I took of the concert - take a few minutes to watch/listen - you'll be glad you did! They are very talented and their music just moves me. Mark and I were close to the front, right behind a woman in a wheelchair so we had a great view of the concert. Enjoy!!

23 - off the album Futures - full song

Sweetness - off the album Bleed American - last minute of the song

Let it Happen - off the album Chase the Light - over a minute of the song

Challenges in General.

2011-05-04T15:28:00.000-07:00

I'm learning a lot more about myself lately. Which is good and bad. Good because it ALWAYS leads to me realizing that I need God more than I think, and bad because, well, again, I realize I need God and see how lowly I really am.

One thing I'm seeing (and many of you probably already know this about me) is that I'm really bad at setting goals. I'm also really bad at following through on things I want to do. Yes, the two are DEFINITELY linked! I don't set goals b/c I am afraid of not meeting them. I'm afraid of telling anyone my goals b/c I don't want to be made fun of or questioned about my talents, desires, abilities, etc. And this is the big one, I'm really afraid of setting goals b/c I am afraid of the commitment it will take to achieve those, and I am always secretly wondering if I can really do it.

I also give up VERY easily. Ugh. See what I mean about learning about myself? I've only done 2 things for a semi-extended amount of time. Track and photography. And with track, when I wasn't in school, I went to practices on and off for a month the first year, and maybe 2 months the year after that. Not impressive. With photography, I did it for a while, but I never really sacrificed anything to be better at it or make myself "known" or excel in it. I did what most people would do and therefore, got where most people get... not anywhere too significant.

This has been weighing on me greatly. Mostly b/c I am training to compete in track and field next year. Probably just a few open meets. But I fear that I will chicken out during the summer, fall and winter, then come track season, I'll know that I'm not in great shape and therefore set no goals for myself, and will likely come up with some other excuse to just not do it. But then, I'll go to a few meets and mope about how good I was, how I threw it all away and just be down on myself. How do I break this cycle??

The truth is, I cannot break this cycle. This is human nature. God has to do something about it. But I also have to be brave and bold enough to ask God to help me. Which means not fearing man and only fearing myself stopping God through my own laziness and fears. Does this make sense? I like things to be easy - finding babysitting, taking time out of my day to train, making arrangements and planning in general... I get overwhelmed and frustrated at these things. But I'm learning that these things are just life! Life with a family, life with people and loved ones.

Overall, I need to relax and trust God for all the difficulties - whether physical or mentally conceived. I need to rely on God while just picking myself up and getting through it. I need help too. While I'm very scared of setting goals or putting my terrible long-distance runs on facebook, I need to be vulnerable and let other people push me towards using the gifts God has given me. Whether my gifting in track will be used for my own competition or just for coaching others using their gifts, it's about time I learn to let other people see my struggles and not to get down about it. God has redeemed me and if I truly believe this, it's enough to get me through anything! No matter how bad I jump or hurdle, no matter how hectic my days are, no matter how much pain or fatigue I am suffering from, God can totally handle it. And all these small physical struggles will be nothing compared to experiencing God's glory once I die.

All this to say, I hope you friends will help me out! You don't have to watch my kids (well, maybe once in a while) or cook me meals or go shopping for me. I just need you to encourage me to stay on the path I am choosing. I'm choosing it because I am so drawn to it and God has put the opportunity in front of me. I shouldn't expect life to be easy, but I'll never enjoy it to the extent God wants me to if I only do what's easy. My first goal is to run a 5k on June 18th. I want to run the whole thing (no stopping and walking) in under 12min/mile pace. Not ambitious on the time, but I'm a wuss and I ALWAYS stop and walk during my runs. Right now, I run about 5-7 minutes before I walk, then alternate every 3-5 min of walking and running... which is good training for someone out of shape and who stinks at endurance... but I need to step it up, push myself, and get to running longer stretches over the next few weeks.

As I come to mind, please pray for me! Pray that I just get up and put the work in, even when I don't feel like it or when it's inconvenient. Pray that mostly, God uses this time in my life to make Himself more known to me, to those around me and that it all glorifies Him. Sorry I hardly ever post, but hopefully you still love me just the same :) I'll keep you posted on how the training is going. Today's run was good, not amazing, but it was one of my longer runs without as much walking... making progress but more slowly than I want to be. Thanks for your support... I couldn't do anything without it!

Pictures!

2011-04-18T15:57:00.000-07:00

So, since I had decided to no longer pursue a career as a portrait photographer (for the time being) I have HARDLY picked up my nice camera at all!! Shame on me! My boys are growing, I need pictures!

Today, my good friend Dar and I headed out to this old church in Dayton, OR to get some pics of the boys and let them run around the park. Fun times!! I love this photo location... I'm going to need to be careful not to overdo it there. The boys loved it! They are growing up very fast. Cole is adding words to his vocabulary every day and Asher is growing so much in his ability to understand the world around him. He's still such a concrete thinker - but is beginning to understand things a little more abstractly as time goes by. It's hard to explain - things like, I told him a few months ago that his number stamped washed off, then he asked to look in the sink and find the number... he didn't understand how ink washes off separately, not as a whole number. It was cute!

Anyway, I don't have the brain power to sit and write about everything the boys are doing - enjoy the pics!

My FAVORITE picture of Cole ever - perfect!

So thoughtful.

"I can't open it."

"It's locked mama!"

Watching tractors.

Getting bored.

This is Cole on Sunday, messing on papa's iPad.

He's getting pretty good at this soccer game :)

Life Lately.

2011-03-29T15:03:00.000-07:00

So much has been going on, it's going to be so difficult to write just a bit without detailing everything!! These will not be in chronological order, just so you know ;)

Yesterday, Mark and Tracy Crocker came over to deliver the twin bed we had given Mark while he was still single. With the issues Asher has been having at night (coming out of his room 2-5 times and attempting to get into our bed) we thought him having his own bigger bed might help out. So, we set it up, re-arranged the room and since we were feeling ambitious, we put Cole in Asher's old toddler bed. Woohoo, both boys did WONDERFUL! Right now, Cole is sleeping in the toddler bed for nap with no problems!! What a praise! We'll see how tonight goes...

Asher has been saying the funniest things lately. Talking like crazy, sharing his thoughts, telling us things that happened and re-inacting them. Lately, we've been working on teaching him left from right. Then a few days ago, I had one shoe on and he brought me my other shoe saying "Mom, here's your left shoe!" and he was correct! So I smiled, laughed a little, then he smiled and laughed too. And here's what's really funny... a couple days later, I was reading something on facebook and laughed, he says "Who smiled at you?" Too cute!! Love the way his little thoughts are coming together. A few days after that, Ash was spacing off at lunch and Mark got his attention and asked what he was thinking about. He replies "Hmm, just thinking about mama." Talk about melting my heart!

Cole is also growing and learning like crazy. He can say all kinds of words - here's a small list - Papa, Mama, Milk, Cookie, No (of course), trucks, monsters (b/c of Monsters Inc.), cheese, don't know, bath, teeth, want some, what is (what is it), no thanks, thank you, pants, uh oh - poo poo (funny thing, he waits for us to repeat "uh oh" before saying the poo poo part), pants, shoes, walk, gum, grapes, raisins. There are lots of other words that aren't quite as formed yet. Like, balloon used to be "baboon" but now sounds more like "bougon" - not sure what happened there! He also sings "our town" from this song we listen to a lot... it's a song Asher constantly requests and they just really like the part that says "This is our town" - it's a random, secular band, not a kid song, but Asher really likes that style of music with lots of guitar and lively drums... Dashboard, Julianna Theory, Yellow Card... funny kid!

Cole is also getting a lot more physical skills. Like running, jumping and even catching a ball! Today, we played catch for 20 minutes straight! It was so fun, and he was such a doll. Cole's latest trick is sliding on his tummy off of the couch. He will also use my desk chair or Asher's tricycle to climb up and over the arms of the couch... he's so reckless it's amazing he hasn't hurt himself seriously yet! Once, while attempting to climb over the chair and the arm of the sofa, he fell off head first, with only a little crying. Sheesh, I'm sure we'll be taking him to the ER for a broken limb before kindergarden!

Asher is starting to have pretend conversations with his toys and one imaginary friend. Well, she's not TOTALLY imaginary, b/c it's the character Mini Muffin from the book "Under the Tagalong Tree" which we read together most nights. He just randomly pretends she is here with us. He also sometimes pretends papa is at the table when he is gone... funny to see the things Ash likes to do. He loves coming to track practice with me and always talks about all the coaches and athletes he knows, however, he will hardly say a word to any of them in person! He especially likes the hurdle coach (Coach Clarkson) but will barely even look him in the eye. At home once thoough, he kept talking about doing the hurdles with coach Clarkson, but again, then next day at practice just hid his face from him. It's a good growing experience for him and I know he's learning better and better how to deal with feeling uncomfortable with new people.

What else? The meet in Seattle was crazy. I'm not going to even get into it. For all you track people, just know that it took the official 4 hrs to complete the women's and men's long jump - less than 40 total jumpers. Ugh!! He was just slow!! The head field event official took over for triple jump and it went WAY faster :) Mark came with me since I had a hotel room to myself and his parents watched the boys Friday and Saturday for us. It was a much needed break, even if it was mostly standing in the cold and driving... we are still so grateful we got to go!

Well, I've got to do some other things. Tonight I am doing my first batch of dried blueberries and strawberries using my friend Bev's food dehydrator! So excited to see how things go!! Hope you have a great week... oh, one last thing. I know I haven't been posting much about what God's doing lately. That would take an eternity. Just know that I'm learning so much about what He is like and how He is working with me to teach me about Him. I'm constantly amazed and how often He goes out of His way to comfort me and set my emotions straight. I pray for many of you, that you experience Him more and more, and for some of you, that someday you'll know Him for the loving God He is. Enjoy the week!

Don't even go there!

2011-03-18T21:38:00.000-07:00

So, I'm not even going to hassle with apologies or why I haven't written in forever... you're just going to have to live with it :)

Here are some cute photos from a week or so ago, while playing out on the walking path behind our house and in the backyard. These boys are keeping me busy but filling my heart. They say the darndest things every day and I just love how they both eat up the snuggles (for the time being). I try to take advantage of their cuddly times and the days where they just want to be with me, read books, help me with laundry... whatever! I'm really enjoying this stage of motherhood :)

Also, I do realize I haven't said a word about Asher's 3rd B-day or Tracy's wedding... maybe someday soon I will! Gotta keep you checking back for more!!

I love how you can see Asher in the background, having a blast!

Cole, showing me all the grass he's picking :)

Asher loves to pretend to spray and shoot me with random objects... yes, all boy!

Duh.

I love how you can see his super blond roots and orange tips of hair. So cute.

I think this photo needs to be printed large and displayed somewhere in the home. So serious, with just that hint of joy. Love this kid.

Sweet kisses :)

2011-03-04T13:38:00.001-08:00

Granola Bars!

2011-02-22T13:32:00.000-08:00

I've been saving up granola bar recipes thinking I'd need to try a lot, but the first one I tried I really liked! Plus, my boys DEVOUR them, so they must be great! It's a bit of a variation from the original but here it is... try it and let me know what you think! (Sorry, that second pic is too yellow, but alas, I'm too lazy & busy to fix it!)

Cranberry-Almond Granola Bars
2 cups rolled oats
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 all purpose flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 cup craisins
3/4 cup sliced almonds
3/4 tsp salt
1/4 cup honey
3/4 cup agave nectar (I replaced some of the honey and all the brown sugar with this, then lessened the oil slightly to make up for the difference).
1 egg
1/3 cup grapeseed oil (works well with canola or vegetable oil too)
2 tsp vanilla extract

1 - Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease (I use a canola spray) a 9x13 inch baking pan.

2 - In a large bowl, mix together the oats, cinnamon, flours, craisins, almonds and salt. Make a well in the center and pour in the honey, agave nectar, egg, oil and vanilla. Mix well. Press the mixture evenly into the prepared pan.

3 - Bake for 30-35 minutes in the preheated over until the bars begin to turn golden at the edges. Cool for 5 minutes, then cut bars while still warm. Do not allow the bars to cool completely before cutting, or they will be too hard to cut.

Note - I usually bake for 20 min, then check. I baked for 25 and they were a little tougher than I generally like. Do what you like best!

Enjoy!

Asher's 1st Puzzle!

2011-02-21T15:42:00.000-08:00

Asher worked on this puzzle for a few days. No one else put together a single piece for him. 24 pieces, entirely on his own! Proud parents today... he's growing up!

Oh life!

2011-02-15T10:12:00.000-08:00

Yep, busy, busy, busy! I've got Tracy's Bridal shower this weekend, Women's Retreat next weekend, 1st track meet & Tracy's Bachelorette party the following weekend, then Tracy's wedding after that, and then Asher's Birthday party and finally, track meets almost every Saturday until either the end of April or end of May... depending on how many athletes I have going to nationals! Craziness! I'm going to make sure and give Mark quite a few nights out with some guy friends to make up for all the kid-watching he's been doing and will be doing. It will sure be nice to have another paycheck for a bit tho!

Unfortunately, I don't have any photos to post :( You'll have to follow me on facebook to see most that I take these days. I haven't gotten my camera out for quite a while! But, once the weather is nicer and we are outside more, I think I'll pick it back up. Plus, I'm sure I'll take a bunch of my athletes during the season too. So, you'll just have to imagine our happy smiling faces :)))

Sorry it's a short update... hopefully you'll all give me some grace and still stay tuned in until more exciting things happen & until I have time to write about them!

The craziness sets in!

2011-01-30T16:16:00.000-08:00

Whoa, what a whirlwind! In case you didn't know, I have A LOT going on right now. Miraculously, God has provided me with what I need. Not always what I want, but what I need!

Track has been going incredibly well! While I feel pretty capable in the realm of knowing how to fix technique and help jumpers be better in general, much of the time I feel very incapable. I'm realizing that there is SO much more to learn about running form, muscles, training practices (mainly, knowing what intervals and training produces what effects) and muscle recovery... I feel like I am a little bit in over my head. But, I'm not feeling down really, just realizing that this season and during the break between seasons, I will be stuffing my head with lots of athletic and muscular knowledge. I'm looking forward to it tho!

The other thing about track that has been hard has been dealing with my regret. This is an issue I thought I had worked through a few years ago, and I knew going into this season that it would likely pop it's head up and require me to deal with it more fully. I was really good at this track thing. I'm naturally athletic and have amazing muscle recovery. I stink at running long distances, but I can jump all day long and not get tired. So, seeing some of my talented athletes has brought up this issue of competing again. It has been a bit more difficult to deal with b/c I am older, my back is still having weird things going on that are still un-diagnosed but for some reason, I still really want to be in shape and compete. This makes my head spin! For a number of reasons...

1 - is it what God wants? I mean, I had a choice, and years ago, I chose to be a slacker and do the easy thing... easy for me at least, cave into pursuing the typical American Christian life-style - not bad for everyone, but sometimes I wonder if it was the best idea.
2 - if I know that there are starving people across the globe that need to see God's love, can I really pursue competing whole-heartedly? I never think badly of those that do, but can I?
3 - physically, can I even do it? Obviously, if it's God's will and I follow through, yes, I can. But with my back falling apart and my fatigue getting the best of me many days... well, maybe it just isn't/wasn't meant to be?
4 - maybe I could have done it 7 years ago, but now I've missed the boat and this life is now a re-write... but let me say, I know that this is false... I think ;) God knew what I was going to do and what I am going to do, I don't have to let regret get the best of me b/c He doesn't have a plan B, just in case I don't end up doing what He would have preferred. If I trust that He is guiding me and I continue to pursue Him and His interests, I can trust that if I am never a track star, it wasn't meant to be. Yes? Yes, I will keep trying to tell myself yes.

Anyway, with being at practice and loving it so much, I'm just struggling with all of this. I'd like to think that my gifting glorifies God, I know it has in the past. And if I want to try again, I can try, trusting fully that God will accomplish His purpose through it, I just love it so much sometimes that it feels wrong to do it when I might serve the Lord elsewhere. Hmm. Well, now you know what goes through my head on and off. It's not resolved, and that drives me crazy! But more importantly, I must remember, that the most important thing has been resolved... Christ has conquered sin and death! I don't know if I will regret not using this gift or not... I already kinda do, but b/c of my own desires, or b/c of God's? Feel free to pray for me about this as much as you want :) I'll take any prayers I can get!!

With Tracy's wedding coming up (March 12th) I've been pretty busy testing out recipes for her bridal shower, designing invitations for the wedding and the bridal shower, finding/coordinating the right candlestick holders and testing out painting them, planning Asher's outfit for being the ring-bearer... you get the picture! Then, our Women's retreat is February 25th-27th and I'm doing a lot of design stuff for that plus operating the powerpoint during worship and possibly our sessions. I will also be helping with MC'ing a little so planning all that has really begun. Then, track meets start on March 5th (no meet March 12th thankfully) and we have a meet every Saturday until mid-May, but I am really looking forward to that part! And lastly, Mark's parents are having new counter-tops put into our kitchen upstairs this week... so no sink, counters, stove use-age until about Thursday... fun! Mark's parents will be helping us with dinners until then and I'll be doing who knows what about breakfasts and lunches... it's only 4 days tho, and I'm sure I'll survive. Plus, they are putting in a beautiful tile that is a through-body color, so the edges will be beautifully polished and shiny... and the glass accents that will be on the backsplash will look amazing... can't wait!

Okay, lastly, and update on Mark and the boys!

Cole - saying lots of words now! Shoes, read books, more, milk, all done, go, mama (still working on papa tho), bite, Asher, home, get it, poo poo, bum, ready, bath, bye, ball, fooball (football), fruit, waffle, fruit bar and then lots of gibberish that we have yet to figure out! He also says "eee" when we brush his teeth and will make the cutest, cheesiest grin ever when you smile really big at him. I need to capture it will my real camera someday, it's the most adorable thing I've ever seen. He got another haircut and screamed for the entire 5 mins. We took him to great clips since I couldn't see how Mark and I would hold him down while he was screaming and kicking and do the cutting at the same time... it was eventful enough while at the "haircut store" as Asher says.

Asher - talking in complete sentences all the time! He has phrases that crack me up b/c of when and how he says them like "But I really want to..." "what'd you say?" "Crackin' you up papa/mama." He also tells us about his dreams aka movies in his sleep. Today was a first... we were asking him about how time in the nursery was and finally he answered "I don't really want to talk about it." Sad!! I thought boys didn't clam up like that until school-age at least!! Oh well, at least I knew it was coming :) Asher has become a pro at navigating Netflix on my computer (always supervised of course). But he can click from the ending of one show, back to browsing, find another show he wants to watch and make it full screen using my wireless mouse... yeah, mini-Mark in the making. Ash has come with me to a couple practices so far and does really well. He usually kicks a ball around on the field or just plays on my phone and watches the jumpers do their thing... maybe next year Cole will be old enough to bring too!

Mark - they have gotten a pretty good response for their latest app "iamDrums." It's pretty awesome, so you need to go buy it and tell all your friends! They are getting close to releasing another app called "iamRingTones" where you use their loops to create your own ringtones!! It's something lots of people have requested - to be able to make a ringtone from their apps. I hope that it will be a huge hit and help these guys feel like their efforts are paying off. Well, they are paying anyway, but it's always great to see something you created be really popular! Besides work, Mark spends a lot of time helping me with the boys, watching them 2 of the days I am gone in the afternoon at track practice. I don't know what I would do without him! I do need to get better at giving Mark and break tho, he goes out in the evenings sometimes with Dave Barnhart, but who couldn't stand to go get away from responsibilities more often ;)

Well, if you made it this far in my post, I congratulate you! It was a long one, sorry!! But, now you know what's going on and I feel accomplished for actually blogging ;) One last update, we got approved for health insurance starting February 1st!! So thankful we can afford it (for the time being) and to have a plan for taking care of some medical things for all of us... including trips to the dentist which ought to be loads of fun!! Love you all, bye!

Today!

2011-01-17T21:54:00.000-08:00

This is for all you women there who either are a mom of little ones or want to become a mom of little ones... especially little ones close in age :) Enjoy!!

My Day Today - 1/17/2011

5am - Asher climbs in bed with us.
5:15am - Asher wiggles, whines and settles.
5:30am - again with the wiggling and whimpering
6am - Both Mark and Asher are snoring - one slightly louder than the other... yes, I am awake still.
7am - Finally give up on sleep, look at my email, a chapter in Proverbs and FB on my phone and hustle into some clothes. Mark takes Asher into the kitchen to get some breakfast.
7:15am - Grab the laundry basket and start a load of laundry - I have to get my track clothes all dried before I leave at 2pm.
7:30am - check my recipe for tonights crock pot dinner and find that I need a few more canned items. Take the beef that was thawing in the fridge and put it in some water to thaw for the crock pot meal. Got out the crock pot and greased it.
8am - hmm, eating breakfast, monitoring Asher, getting the laundry switched out, start another load.
8:30am - Cole is STILL sleeping, but since I need to get going, I go and wake him up. He's soaking wet... peed through his night-time diaper and his fleece pj's. Change Cole, and pick out clothes for both boys for the day.
8:45am - finish getting them dressed, get Cole some breakfast, harass him about eating, let Asher play with his sticker book at the table.
9am - clean up Cole from b-fast, got Cole's shoes and jacket on, got my shoes and sweatshirt on, Asher decides he wants to go to the store with me instead of staying home with papa, put Asher's shoes and sweatshirt on.
9:10am - in the car, making a trip to wal-mart... both boys are happy!!
9:20am - at wal-mart, enjoying all the birds flying around on our walk in, grab a cart, let Asher walk...
- look for tank-tops - unsuccessful
- look for boys clothes on sale - unsuccessful (I did later find some $1 bins, but it was mostly pants and girl stuff and I didn't want to fight the crowd of women to dig, while carrying Cole and hoping Asher would obey).
- get the canned items I need plus some juice.
- put Asher in the cart after 2 chances and him not obeying... the last one being a defiant stance and refusing to come to me.
- get to the checkout line, no debit card in my wallet, shoot! Left it in my jeans pocket at home!! thankfully, the cashier saved my transaction and the bag of items for me... back home we go... after stopping and getting a smiley face sticker of course!
9:45am - driving home to get debit card and ID
10:05am - back at Wal-mart, wait in line, purchase items!
10:15am - while walking through the parking lot, a small vehicle didn't look before backing out, but thankfully, both boys stopped when I told them to and we simply stood there and watched while the car slowly (thankfully) backed ENTIRELY out of it's spot before seeing us standing there, less than 5 feet away. Nice.
10:17am - headed back home! Listened to a voicemail reminding me I had a prescription to pick up at Albertson's.
10:30am - unload the kiddos, hang up jackets, take off shoes, switch out laundry again... Cole needs new sheets cleaned and dry before naptime!
Warning! This next hour was a bit of a blur :)
- open all the cans of stuff for crock pot meal, pour in and turn on high, clean out cans
- brown meat
- get boys a fruit bar for a morning snack
- pour Cole a cup of milk
- drain meat, add to soup, clean strainer and a few other dishes waiting to be cleaned.
- keep the boys from fighting over the puzzle
- discipline Cole 2 times for climbing into chair and turning lights on and off
- discipline Asher for disobeying when I told him to get off the back of the couch and then throwing a fit about it
- discipline Cole for climbing into my computer chair and starting my music on iTunes (yes, he did it, but it was already open and ready to go, pretty much)
- take Asher to the bathroom, monitor Cole while he climbs on the stool and tries to get into cupboards while Ash is taking his time on the pot.
11:30am - boys are whiny and crying, Mark comes downstairs and I realize it's time for lunch!
- make Asher a "meat sandwich" upon request
- make Cole a PBJ
- pour drinks, give chips (Mark did this) and put boys in chairs with a bib for Cole... add fruits and a random assortment of other food items as needed.
- make a sandwich for myself
- look up recipes for granola bars, prep ingredients, mix together, put in oven (whew, wasn't as bad as I thought)
- clean Asher and take down from chair, threat of discipline for not drinking juice - then I told him good job for obeying mama and tasted the juice... yuck!! It was gross... it was a sample thing and had that weird after-taste... worse than kool-aid! Then I told Ash REALLY good job for taking a drink even though it was gross ;)
- clean bowl from granola bars
- made tea, drank most of the tea
- Cole is shouting "Ah duh" aka "all done" so I clean him up and get him down.
- clean trays, plates and cups
12pm - go into the boys' room to play and put clean sheets on Cole's bed... ha.
- Changed Asher's sheets and pillows.
- Discipline Cole 2 times for getting onto Asher's bed after I told him no twice and tried to block him from climbing up while I was putting the new sheet on.
- Decided to take off Cole's crib bumper since I was working up a sweat trying to put a new sheet on and tuck that stinking mattress under the bumper... after much huffing and puffing, Mark came back down and watched the boys for 5 minutes while I finished taking off the old the bedding, took the granola bars out of the over, untied all the ties on Cole's bumper and cut my slightly warm granola bars.
12:30pm - played with the boys, cleaned up toys and watched a bit of Monster's Inc on Asher's phone (yes, that's correct.)
12:50pm - changed Cole's soggy diaper
12:55 - Cole poops
1pm - change Cole's poopy diaper, clean up toys and such in the boys' room
1:15pm - put Cole down for nap & turn crock pot to low.
1:20pm - I go to the bathroom and get dressed for track practice.
1:30pm - take Asher potty again, with much resistance, then put him to bed.
1:40pm - get my shoes on, purse loaded, papers packed, food ready, water ready, take a fresh granola bar to Mark upstairs and steal a kiss before I leave, and then I head out the door.
1:50pm - stop my Albertson's and pick up prescription.

Since I missed much of the afternoon with the boys, I'll just briefly say that I drove an hour to Corban University, went to a coaches meeting, a team meeting, then practiced with my incredible jumpers, filled up the van with gas, drove an hour home and greeted my family just before 7pm! Ate dinner, cleaned some dishes, played, gave kisses, dressed for bed, brushed their teeth, snuggled with Mark on the couch for a few while Cole snickered at us and Asher said "Papa's holdin' mama!", more kisses and stern warnings about staying in bed. Showered, shaved and now, here! Great day overall. I love having productive days like these (aside from the whole wal-mart, no money fiasco)... they are definitely busy, but fun :) Just a little more reading tonight and I am out for the count!!

Free stuff!

2011-01-14T09:28:00.000-08:00

Gotta love free stuff...

Gotta love pink and hearts free stuff!!

Check out the florabella website and link from facebook or your blog to be entered in the $100 giveaway!! Hope I win, I just love her stuff!!

Enjoy :)

Changes!

2011-01-12T14:50:00.000-08:00

No worries folks, nothing you don't already know about ;) I just like to keep you on your toes!!

So, on Monday I start my new job as the Jumps Coach for Corban University's Track and Field team! Craziness! This was nowhere on my radar 6 months ago and now, I'm really excited and feel very "fit" for this role. Not physically fit, but prepared in most of the other areas I need to be. Here's a pic from one of the last years I did track... miss that whole team atmosphere! And the people, so much fun.

Other changes (I guess lot of you don't know about this one), I have been testing eating wheat and gluten again this week. I've been having some other symptoms of some other auto-immune thing and it occurred to me that maybe my fatigue and pain have been from this other possibility... which may mean that wheat is not the trigger. I'm praying this is the case! I would still have pain from this other thing, but at least I could pretty much eat whatever I wanted and it would make my life SOOO much easier with meal-planning during track season... not to mention the money I'd save from not buying G-free items. So far, I feel pretty much the same. I had a bad headache Monday night but feel totally "normal" today.

We applied for insurance a couple weeks ago so as long as that goes through fine, I'll schedule a Dr's appt and see if we can nail down some of these health questions! If not, well, I have no doubt that God can totally handle it and that He'll give me strength to deal with whatever comes up.

Okay, Cole is awake from a short nap so I gotta go take care of business... hopefully meaning get him to sleep a bit longer... hmmm, we'll see how the rest of today goes!

Craft time!

2011-01-05T13:37:00.001-08:00

I'm making an alphabet for Asher with a pack of 4x6 scrapbook paper I bought on sale. I'll make sure & show the finished project when I'm done :)

Resolutions!

2011-01-04T14:12:00.000-08:00

So, I have a few resolutions. I want to create something that has these written out more concisely and all decorative-like, but I'm busy and tired so it might have to wait.

If you read my smallmustardseed blog then you know that two of my resolutions are no complaining and to be content/not be discontent with where God has me and what He has given me. Another goal is to do some more studying and writing on a few subjects - joy, where a complaining spirit comes from and what it does to us, being dead to self and alive to Christ, some Old Testament persons... I think that's probably plenty to start with! Overall, these fall under this goal of just knowing God better and trusting Him more. I can already see myself being pushed to what I think are my limits, but I know that God can do more than I'm able, so I'm just continuing to trust that He works every detail of my life out for His glory and my sanctification - as long as I allow Him to do so.

I will admit, the whole "no complaining" thing is hard! Mark and I are both committed to it, which is helpful. But, I feel like there's got to be some line between sharing what's going on in my life and complaining, but I have trouble finding it! I want to tell people my struggles, but how do I do so in a way that is not complaining? Sadly, I find that many Christian women complain a lot but end up saying "But God is good" at the end to make it sound like it's not complaining... does that count? I mean, if you're still feeling the need to share all of your woe's, can you truthfully mean that God is good? Because all the sharing can also mean that you're not at ease with them... which is really the goal right? To be fully at peace with all the happenings in your life... but that doesn't always mean you don't tell people right? Who knows! But, part of my goal for the year is to look more into what the bible says about all of this and hopefully gain some wisdom from it.

Still, I will share that I am struggling with some physical pain lately. I won't go into detail so as to try and make sure I'm not complaining, but it's something new and different and of course, I've already self-diagnosed ;) But, I'm glad to say that we applied for insurance last month so hopefully come February, we'll all be insured and I'll be able to go see a Dr! Pray for me though, that I will be committed to trusting in God's physical provisions, even if that doesn't include taking away any pain. Pray that I will be willing to step out in faith and take care of the tasks at hand even when I don't feel I have the capacity to do it.

On another note, the kids have been great lately! Which has helped me a ton!!! Cole really turned a corner right at the 16 month mark and we are loving it! It's as if he woke up one day able to say a few more words, able to understand WAY more than before and able to interact with us in new ways. I LOVE this age so much more than the first whole year. It's so fun to play games, talk to him and know that he really gets it... plus, seeing him and Asher interact together is just priceless! Today at lunch, Cole wasn't eating his sandwich and I decided to just give him some time. Then I hear Asher say "Coley, take a bite, or you'll have to go in your crib..." and then Cole actually took a bite!! Haha! We're trying to explain to Asher that mama and papa are the ones who tell Cole what to do, but it was so cute I couldn't help but smile. I just can't believe that Cole understands that much and that Asher is able to put all his thoughts together like that. They really are growing up!

Alright, well, I need to finish up some knitting for baby Malachi's blanket... kinda late, but just about done! I wish I had time to knit all my friends' kids blankets, but there are just TOO many babies! Next up will be the Lacine's newest growing baby, due July 20th! I'm really hoping another Armstrong-Lacine reunion will take place this summer!!! Love you all!

Good morning from Cole!

2011-01-03T07:06:00.001-08:00

Christmastime.

2010-12-25T19:53:00.000-08:00

Today was good. We opened our stockings last night and each boy got to open their "large" gift. Cole got a Rody - which is like an industrial, blow-up horse for bouncing and riding... tho, he wasn't so impressed. It takes a bit more balance than he's apparently got at this point :( My bad! Asher got a really nice tricycle! He's struggling a little with steering and pedaling at the same time, but I'm sure he'll have it down in no time.

Early this morning, Nate, Mary and Analeigh came over (mom and dad came upstairs) and the gift exchange started. The Brewers came around 9am and then the other Armstrongs (Matt, Shaana and Grace) came shortly after that. Nate and Mary had another family get-together so they had to leave early, but the rest of us finished up all the gift stuff and enjoyed many traditional Armstrong Christmas day foods - including Cinnamon Rolls and Valley of the Son soup - yum!

I do love Christmas. And I don't want to sound negative. I can't help but think about all the tradition we participate in without knowing the reasons behind it. I know that Jesus wasn't actually born on (or even really close to) Christmas day. And most Christmas traditions have been altered from pagan holidays - I think the worst of all this is when the Pope made Christmas Day an official holiday, encouraging "pagans" to become Christians and convincing them that they could still participate in all their pagan traditions, only as worshiping Christ, instead of worshiping the gods of agriculture and fertility... kinda twisted, not exactly a solid way to "convince" people to serve the Lord - "here, you don't have to give up your super fun holiday to follow Christ, just alter it!". Anyway, I've just been giving all of this some thought. I don't have any solid conclusions. I don't know that I am going to go all puritan and get rid of our fake Christmas tree, but it certainly feels wrong to tell people that Jesus is the reason for this season... because this season was made up for other reasons than Him. Jesus is the ONLY reason for Joy, and that's what we remember at this time. But as for all the other random traditions - gift giving, caroling, stockings, tree - well, I'm just not sure of it's place.

This year, we did spoil the boys a bit more than we were comfortable with - it's too easy to do! It was the first year we actually had some extra money to kinda go crazy with. But in America, people look down on you if you don't give gifts to your kids, like you're depriving them! Let me tell you folks, there is a huge WORLD of deprived children, and if my boys didn't get one single gift, they would still not be anywhere near that class of deprived children. I don't want my kids to think that Christmas is about getting gifts. I also don't want them to be deceived of it's origins. Is there a way to have compromise in this without violating my conscience? Good question! Guess we'll see next year ;)

Hope you all had a happy holidays and that ultimately, Jesus reminded you of His incredible, intense, all-giving love for you!

Asher says.

2010-12-22T22:09:00.000-08:00

Oh man, Asher says a LOT of funny things these days! Here are some phrases and conversations that have been going on lately.

"What did you say?" - about 1/2 of the time I am talking to anyone, this pops out of his mouth.

After getting in our bed at 7am, he says "Had a good sleep." Then, he rests for 15-20 minutes, rolls over to papa and says "Can I hold papa's iPhone please?"

Lately, Asher talks most rapidly while going potty - just sentence after sentence... it's super funny and super cute...here's a short snip-it from this afternoon:

mom - "Did you have fun with papa and Brendan?"

Asher - "Went bowling! Papa had a green ball. Brendan had an orange ball. They throw them. I picked one up, it was REALLY HEAVY."

He sings: "Ring round rosy, pocket posy, Ashers, Ashers, all fall down!"

While running out of his room naked from the waist down, Mark asks "Asher, what are you doing?"

Asher - "Changing my pants. They're too short. I get new ones out."

Lately, we've been working on some pronunciation, not because I'm crazy about everything being perfect, we just tried it a little and found that Ash could actually say things better with a teensy bit of repetition... so, this conversation started.

Asher, repeating - "scary, scared" (both with the correct S-C combo instead of the usual "gary" or "gared" version of the words.)

Papa - "Asher, that's so good, you're getting really good at saying those words."

Asher - "I been workin' on my L's. Really good job?!"

Asher (in a very high voice) to Cole when Cole was crying in his high chair: "It's okay Coley. You're fine. Stop crying, you'll be alright."

This afternoon, Asher headed downstairs with Grandma A. for a bit. He looks at the Christmas tree and says "Hey, there's another red present by the Christmas tree!" And he was right! That kid has a crazy memory for stuff... just like mama :)

Asher to Cole tonight at Thai Country while looking at the fish, with a super high voice, while touching Cole on the shoulder and with a very high-pitched emphasis on the word little - "See Coley, that's a big fish and that's a little fish. And see the elephant. It's so cool!"

And lastly, we've also been working on manners, mainly, learning how to politely ask for things. So now, anytime we say "How do you ask nicely?" he replies, "Can you... " it can be something he wants, something he wants you do get or do... it almost always starts with "Can you" even when it should be "can I" and it is ALWAYS said in a super high pitched voice! Hilarious!

Being around Asher every day is such a joy! Especially now that he's gotten back into the habit of staying in his bed all night... I thought I was going to go crazy if I had to take him to bed at 12 am, 2am, and 4am for many more nights. Lately, he is observing EVERYTHING we see and telling us all about it. He asks about opening our Christmas presents almost every day and LOVES to see Snowman anywhere - yards, pictures, clothing... you name it! So friends take note, if you want Asher to say hi to you (he's incredibly shy) just wear some type of piece of clothing with a snowman or some other type of adorable thing! It works like a charm!

Oh, and something totally random... if you want to get a great tricep workout, try using a paper-cutter (the home scrapbooking kind, not the big lever kind) to cut out 3 different pieces of paper for 150 invitations. I haven't done all the math yet, but it's anywhere from 5-7 slices for every 2 pieces of paper, and there is a total of 450 pieces of paper... my triceps are going to HURT tomorrow. All for my baby sister Tracy. Love in action, baby! ;)

Bedtime.

2010-12-14T21:56:00.000-08:00

I usually love bedtime. And I never used to understand why Mark hated it. He used to say "It feels like admitting defeat... that there's nothing else you can do today." Lately I have really been struggling with this. There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day for me, for many reasons. Not just laundry that needs to be folded, dishes that need to be done, emails that need to be sent... there are just TONS of other things I want to do! Lately, I've been attempting to understand more about the idea of "God's Will." I read a great book twice recently, called "Do Something" by Kevin DeYoung. It's all about the problem many of us "young adults" have with Godly decision making. I highly recommend it.

Basically, I'm seeing that God's Will is for me to know Him, thus, acting more like Christ and accomplishing His purposes wherever I am. I've been going back and forth with decisions regarding where I will end up in about 5 years... major things like kids, career, where to live... then I end up struggling with regret, self-doubt, questioning everything I do... but this book is offering me some clarity and God is definitely shaping me. It's hard for me to say that I want something but then admit that I must not want it enough to sacrifice what is required. How do I live with that? Is it honorable to have chosen other things? What if I could have made more impact? Been more "known" and thus, more people knowing more about God? What should I pursue now? Then, mostly, I almost become paralyzed thinking about making sure I do the most absolute, bestest thing I could do for God.

But now, I'm seeing (and I hope to truly believe) that God wants me to know Him to the greatest degree possible - which is wild, because He can make all things possible. Sorry, but I'm hashing this out here to help it sink into my heart. I realize, that when I know God deeply, it changes my desires, my feelings, my reactions to the people I love, my ability to take criticism, my heart for my friends and family... get what I'm saying? When I am growing closer to God, it won't matter what exactly I am doing. He'll work that out. I can make choices, go places, do things fully trusting that if I'm growing in the Lord, He will use me to the degree that I truly know Him... so this whole idea of having "maximum impact" for the kingdom is not how I envision it. No matter what I'm doing, if knowing God is center, He will be using me to have the biggest impact possible... and likely, that impact might not have been greater or lesser depending on my "career." I know that God already knows where I'll be and who I'll meet, and I'm trusting that He is prepping and using me every day to have the greatest impact I am allowing Him to have.

Still, when bedtime rolls around, I wish I had an extra hour or two to meditate on Him, read His word and what other people have to say about it... maybe tho, I'll just start doing that, trusting that God will rejuvenate me despite the loss of sleep... God can do anything right?

My sister is engaged!

2010-12-07T14:22:00.000-08:00

Yep, many of you have heard, Tracy got engaged! So crazy! Her fiance (also Mark) is such a sweet guy, and you can tell he loves her so much!!

So, Tracy and I will be doing lots of wedding planning in the next few months. Their wedding date is March 12th, 2011. They figure (and I agree) to just get it done with and not wait around, tempting each other... makes lots of sense and definitely a wise choice.

On Sunday I did their engagement photos and they turned out spectacular! So happy that it went well - I've been a bit out of practice. Enjoy!!

In Matthew.

2010-11-30T21:33:00.000-08:00

I was reading in Matthew tonight (in the bible that is). I'm working on a lesson for bible study on Thursday and I am really feeling torn about so much. Mainly, I'm wondering, how much do I really believe that I will be rewarded in Heaven for what happens here on earth? Do I really believe that when I pursue God's desires (to reach the lost and heal the broken) and put my own desires on the side, that I will be blessed for eternity? Do I believe this enough to suffer financially for the rest of my life? Or even a small part of my life? Giving up a nice home, nice clothing (with a wide variety of styles), comfy cars, whatever... get what I'm saying? Maybe I don't believe as much as I thought. But now that I am realizing this, I cannot very well go back to being concerned about only myself, my family and my friends all the time. They are just a very, very small portion of the population.

I always forget that God is more than able to take care of me despite the worst mishandling of anything and everything I can imagine... so why not pursue His interests above all of mine? He gives us desires for a purpose I'm sure, like the apostle Paul's desire for the gentiles. I guess what I'm trying to do, is evaluate if I'm really willing to lose myself for other people's standing before God. I mean, duh, right? Why would I even think about asking that? Then why am I not doing it more? Really, I think it's because I prefer being comfortable, but I don't want to risk eternal joys for little, tiny, momentary comforts. Pray for me, because my heart needs to change before it gets too stuck.

More cookies!

2010-11-24T22:06:00.000-08:00

I have been baking up a storm around here lately! Not just for Thanksgiving, but it seems that almost every day I seem to be baking something new... I think Mark is enjoying it (though he's not a big sweets or baked goods type of guy). I'm glad that I haven't gained about 10 lbs after eating the majority of my chocolate macaroons, zuchinni muffins, pumpkin bars and the latest, Chai Molasses Cookies! Let me tell you, you NEED to try these!!!! The good news for all of you, is that this is a regular, all-purpose flour recipe that I modified to make it gluten-free. That's right! I'm finally learning enough to venture out and make a regular recipe, gluten-free, all on my own! I'm pretty proud, I have to admit ;)

I got this recipe from a friends' facebook. Mark has been friends with this family (the Gallagher's) for years before we even met! The mom has Celiac also, so she's loaned me books and gone to a Gluten-Free Friends meeting with me... hopefully, we'll go to more together.

Let me tell you, if you intend on baking cookies, using cookie cutters and icing, you should SERIOUSLY try this recipe!! It's almost gingerbread tasting. The bold print is the original recipe (sorry, I have no idea who the copyright belongs to) and I have notes afterwards about what snafoos I ran into :) Seriously, go and bake these soon! You won't regret it!

Chai Molasses Cutout Cookies

2 or 3 chai tea bags
3 cups flour - 2.5 cups Bob's Red Mill G-free all-purpose flour, 1/2 cup almond meal, 1/4 sorghum flour, 1/4 tapioca starch
1 tsp xantham gum - only for g-free people!! Makes the dough stick together better.
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice - 1/4 tsp each: allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger
1.5 cups butter (3 sticks), softened
1 cup sugar
2 egg yolks
2 Tbsp molasses

1. Empty 3 tea bags and measure out 3 tsp. of spices. In a medium bowl combine tea, flour and pumpkin pie spice. Set aside.

2. In a large mixing bowl beat butter on high for 30 seconds. Add sugar and beat until light and fluffy. Beat in egg yolks and molasses. Beat in as much flour as you can, stir in the rest. Divide dough in half and refrigerate for 2 or 3 hours, or until easy to handle.

3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease cookie sheets or line with parchment paper. On lightly floured surface, roll half of the dough at a time to 1/4 inch thickness. Cutout with cookie cutters.

4. Bake for 11 or 12 minutes, or until edges brown slightly. Cool on cookie sheets for a couple of minutes and then move to rack to cool completely.

*to store- layer cookies between waxed paper in airtight container, 3 days at room temp or 3 months in freezer.

I ended up using almost 4 tea bags - 2 decaf, vanilla chai by Stash Teas and 2 vanilla chai teas by The Good Earth.

I started with only 3 cups total flour, but I ended up needing to add a bunch more to make the dough remotely dry enough to handle.

I ended up just rolling balls of dough, pressing them between my palms and setting them on wax paper... maybe it's the g-free-ness of my version that makes it tough to get good consistency to roll it out without overdrying.

I baked my cookies in the over closer to 15-18 minutes each time.

Made between 3-4 dozen cookies.

Did I mention that they were delicious??

Mixing of Seasons.

2010-11-23T19:14:00.000-08:00

Just a few pics from the snow today. Sadly, they aren't really of any nice snow landscapes, just some of the winter mixing with the remainder of fall in our driveway. Enjoy.

Holiday Treats!!

2010-11-21T20:21:00.000-08:00

First off, I almost always end up making the sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner. I don't mind really, but since it only happens about once a year, I always forget how I do it :( This year, I'm on top of things and found a crock pot recipe already... it uses applesauce and it sounds yummy... I'll keep you posted on how it goes!

Second (and lastly I think), I made some SUPER yummy gluten-free pumpkin bars today! It calls for a g-free baking mix but also says you can use a g-free all-purpose flour mix but to add certain amounts of baking soda, powder, salt, etc. Well, it turned out more like cake but the texture is amazing!! Moist, not overly dense, not chewy or dry. And to top it off, the frosting was DELICIOUS! In fact, I ate a lot of the frosting by itself and didn't leave a lot of room for dinner, so now I'm hungry again and trying not to eat more of the bars!!! Ugh! It tastes similar to a carrot cake... seriously, you should try it! Even if you don't do g-free, try it with regular, all-purpose flour and the recommended baking extras (minus the xanthan gum) and see how it goes! Sorry, my iPhone photos of the bars were terrible b/c of the lighting and color of the bars, and it's took dark to whip out my camera and mess with editing... forgive me! Once again, anything I didn't do or use that the original gal recommends is in parenthesis. Oh, and for all you gluten-free folks, make sure you try out recipes from The Gluten Free Goddess... her recipes are some of the best I've ever tried... personal faves - Banana Almond Bundt Cake - Pumpkin Muffins - Banana Chocolate Chip Bread... seriously amazing!

Gluten-Free Pumpkin Spice Bars Recipe

These flavorful bars are moist and tender. Not to mention, they make the house smell like pumpkin pie. Add some raisins or dried cranberries, if you like.

2 large (free-range organic) eggs
1/3 cup (extra light olive oil) or canola or (vegetable) oil
1 cup light brown sugar, packed
1 cup (organic) pumpkin puree - canned is fine
2 teaspoons bourbon vanilla extract
1 and 3/4 cups (Pamela's Ultimate Baking Mix) or a dairy-free gluten-free flour mix with 1 teaspoon baking powder, 1/2 teaspoon baking soda, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 3/4 teaspoon xanthan or guar gum added
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon (Pumpkin Pie Spice)- or a blend of nutmeg, cloves, allspice, ginger
1/3 cup finely chopped (walnuts) or pecans

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Grease a 9x13-inch baking pan or line the pan with greased parchment.

Beat the eggs till blended; add the oil and beat to combine. Add the brown sugar and beat until smooth. Add the pumpkin, beat till smooth; add the vanilla, beat to combine. Add the baking mix and spices; and beat just until the batter is smooth. Add in the nuts and stir by hand to combine.

Dump the batter into the baking pan and spread the evenly. Bake in the center of a preheated oven for about 20 to 25 minutes, until the bars are firm, and a wooden pick inserted into the center emerges clean.

Cool on a wire rack. Frost when cool.

Brown Sugar and Spice Frosting

4 tablespoons (butter or buttery non-dairy spread such as Smart Balance) - I used regular old Imperial Margarine.

1/4 cup packed light brown sugar

2 tablespoons (apple cider) or orange juice

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

2 teaspoons (bourbon) vanilla extract

2 cups powdered sugar, as needed

Spoon the butter, brown sugar and cider into a small saucepan; and heat through on medium heat, stirring constantly. When the mixture is smooth and hot, and begins to bubble, remove the pan from heat and allow it to cool a bit.

Pour the brown sugar mixture into a mixing bowl. Add the vanilla and spices, and beat. Begin adding the powdered sugar, a little at a time and beat until smooth; add more sugar as needed to thicken the frosting.

Frost the bars.

Makes 15 to 18 bars.

Shutterfly Cards!

2010-11-20T09:39:00.000-08:00

A few years ago we had some really cute Christmas cards done through Shutterfly to send out to friends and family. Sadly, last year I just spaced it until it was too late! This year, I am on top of things but am having trouble choosing which card to get... you'll see why :)

I love that this card has a variety of photo spots... plus, I love the black, white and red combo!

This little snowman is so cute!!

Very preppy huh... it's kind of a Pottery Barn look... which Mark and I love!

Again, great color scheme, multiple photos, preppy styling...

And I really like the cleanness of this card. The bright colors, the little snowflakes, multiple photo spots... how is a girl to choose??

We've used Shutterfly for most of our prints the past 3 years and they've been so awesome as giving us promotions, free photo books, free shipping codes... their prices are already great and their website makes it really easy to put together calendars, cards, books... anything! I totally recommend looking at their Christmas cards if you're planning on sending one out this year. They've got TONS of amazing designs (might take you forever to choose) and make this part of the holidays a no-brainer. GO TO SHUTTERFLY.COM and order some cards!

Family Photos

2010-11-18T21:33:00.000-08:00

I know I shared the link to our family photos with you a while ago, but you didn't get to see ALL the photos ;) I won't show them all, there's too many for that! But I will show you some of my faves. My boys are so cute! I'm just loving them more every day. Although, any day I start even thinking about the possibility of ever having another one, we have a ROUGH, TOUGH, TERRIBLE day! Maybe it's God's way of keeping me convinced that two is good ;)

Anyway, enjoy the photos... I can't wait to frame some!

Road Trip.

2010-11-11T22:33:00.000-08:00

Going to Coos Bay for the weekend! Should be a good time. We'll actually be staying in a hotel which will be a bit less time with the fam, but overall, a better sleep for all of us - and if you know me at all, you know I NEED sleep ;)

I've been feeling so great lately. Physically, mentally, spiritually... it's definitely been a week or 3 of encouragement. I got to lead our women's bible study for a couple weeks and that was great to learn and just grow in that area. Physically, this whole no-gluten thing has been amazing! I don't feel depressed like I used to. I'm not having thoughts go so fast through my head that I can't keep up... overall, I'm just more stable. I'm not exhausted all the time which has given me a new challenge... going to bed on time! Yikes! I've been staying up reading, baking, knitting, exercising, playing fruit ninja... you name it! By the way, the new arcade mode on fruit ninja is totally worth the $.99, buy it iPhone people!!

My boys are certainly growing. I'm amazed at the things Cole can communicate. Here's a list of some of what he "says" and how it sounds.

- Basketball (or any ball for that matter) - ba BAH
- Bottle - ba ba (also, but with a certain intonation)
- Thank you - ta too
- Please - bees
- Yeah - ya
- Yummy, yummy - num, nummy
- Cracker - cah cah
- All done - ah done

He's also communicating with his hands and nodding his head yes or no a lot. No especially, in regards to random food items, depending completely on the day, mood, color of the sky, whatever! That crazy kid! Last night he ate TONS of shredded chicken I put on his tray... tonight, he sobbed and cried and cried and screamed. We finally got him to chew and swallow one taste (that's all we require of him most of the time - often we just offer other foods until he eats something). I should mention tho, that grandpa came in after he was happily ignoring his food, then once we told him to take a bite before grandpa could take him out of his chair... well, then all the sobbing and tears began. He just LOVES his grandpa! He even loved another older gentleman we say at Scotty's Playhouse last week... something about the white hair? It's pretty cute most of the time :)

Cole has his own sign for music. Asher did as well. With Asher, he kinda pumped his hand up and down in the air, almost like raising the roof, but with a downward emphasis instead of upward (I know, funny way to describe it). Cole, well, he strums his nipples. SO FUNNY! I promise, we will record it sometime soon. We are guessing it originated from watching Mark and Asher strum a guitar. Cole would look at the guitar box and bounce, look really happy strum both hands right on both nipples. It took us a few minutes to figure it out. But that kid LOVES music. We didn't think anyone else could love music like Asher does, but I think Cole might actually enjoy it more! He'll strum in the car and nod his head going "eh, eh?" in a severely annoying voice to "ask" us to turn on the music. So endearing, how can a parent resist?? Then, as if he could get any cuter, he starts smiling, laughing, clapping and "singing" with the song... have I mentioned that in a good mood, Cole is one of the most adorable children ever?? Well, he is.

Cole really likes to get into the wipes, especially after his last cold. He walks up and pushes the little button, opens it up and then 10 wipes are on the floor. When I close the wipes and tell him no, he blows air out his nose as if to say "but I need my nose blown." Funny the ways they figure out what to do to get what they want at such an early age!

Asher, where to start! He had a really big boy moment yesterday. We gave him another haircut. Last haircut was at the "haircut store" where he cried and threw a fit until he got a sucker at the end (after which he promptly said "thank you" and clammed up tightly). This time, we tried it at home with the buzzers again. The last home hair cut was all scissors since the even more previous haircut was massive amounts of crying, drooling, failed bribes, shaking and sweating. Anyway, yesterday... a little hesitant that morning talking about it, getting excited about it towards dinner time (since papa was getting one too) and then a look of terror when he saw the buzzers. But, after a short explanation that it was just like mama's shaver and a prayer to God to ask for courage, he did amazing! Not one tear!! Then, to top it off, he did something else he hates without crying - mostly. He took a real shower! He cried a bit at first when Mark told him what he was going to do, but then he went in, got cleaned, stood to the side shivering, rinsed again and was a happy, clean, freshly trimmed boy. I could not be much prouder at this point! What a brave kiddo!

Asher is also FULLY potty trained! Plus, he'll go potty on almost any toilet or even at the beach in the sand! I have nothing to claim other than the genes. He just did it! We started letting him wear undies, taking him every 45 minutes, and eventually he was dry at naps, dry at bedtimes for a month or two... now, he only goes 4-5 times a day and hasn't had an accident since who knows when! It's crazy to fold his little undies thinking that he ever used to wear diapers. I'm already preparing myself for Cole to be less easy - prepare for the worst and hope for the best!

Anyway, this inadvertently turned into a very long post. But I hope you enjoyed the update! I will try and do it more often... along with some pics here and there :) I must say, I'm really enjoying Asher's age (and enjoying Cole more than I used to). It's so neat to be able to communicate clearly (most of the time) to your child. I am starting to grasp how fast it will go and trying to hang on to the little moments where my heart melts. God gave us such a blessing in children... I'm beginning to think they are worth the havoc they wreak on your body, budget and life ;) Love you all!

Chocolate Chip Peppermint Cookies!! Yum!

2010-11-07T08:59:00.000-08:00

This is a quick shot of the cookies I baked last night...

SOOOOO delicious. I won't tell you how many I ate... but you can guess, it was more than I should have! We're having them for a dessert tonight so it'll be a tough day working on self-control :)

Here's the recipe. It's what I used... what the original author (found here) uses are in parenthesis. Some of the ingredients I didn't have, so I did some swapping around. Enjoy the gluten-free goodness!

Whisk these dry ingredients together:
1 cup brown rice flour (buckwheat flour)
1/2 cup Bob's Red Mill all-purpose gluten-free flour (white rice flour)
1/2 cup sorghum flour
1/2 cup tapioca starch
1 teaspoon xanthan gum
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon fine (sea) salt
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
3/4 cup (organic) white sugar
3/4 cup (organic) light brown sugar

In a separate bowl combine:
2/3 cup Crisco Shortening (Spectrum Organic Shortening)
2 tablespoons molasses
7 to 10 tablespoons milk (chocolate hemp milk or rice milk), as needed
1 teaspoon (bourbon) vanilla extract
1 teaspoon peppermint extract
2 eggs (egg replacer for 2 eggs)

1/2 heaping cup of chocolate chips - to be stirred in later.
Add the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir well to combine. The dough should be sturdy, not too sticky. If the dough is too stiff, add milk, chocolate hemp milk or rice milk one tablespoon at a time to soften. If by chance the dough is too wet, add a tablespoon of rice flour, as needed, until it sets up better. Add a heaping 1/2 cup chocolate chips. Stir to combine and form the dough into a mound. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and chill for one hour. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Get your baking sheets ready. I like to use parchment or a silicone mat liner or wax paper. Form the dough into 24 balls and place them on baking sheets 2-3 inches apart. Press down on the balls slightly. Bake for about 15 to 18 minutes until the cookies are firm to a light touch, and cracked a bit. Bake less, for smaller or thinner cookies, of course. The cookies will yield to light touch but not be sloppy-soft. Cool a few minutes before using a thin spatula to remove them from the baking pan to cool completely on a wire cooling rack. Wrap by twos in foil, bag, and freeze. Yields about 24 cookies.

A few things...
- my dough was way too wet to roll balls of it in my hands. I added a few tbls' of brown rice flour and it was still really wet, even after chilling. I ended up just scooping dough out onto wax paper on my cookie sheets without making balls or pressing them down.
- I ended up using a blending to mix the shortening mixture and blended the entire mixture just a little. Then I used a spoon the rest of the time.
- this recipe made over 40 cookies for me! And some cookies were very large too!!
- the batter tastes yucky before being baked... this made me really nervous! But 2 different non-gluten-free people said they were super yummy once baked... and of course, I agreed!

Minnesota!

2010-11-02T22:14:00.000-07:00

I will have to actually sit and write more about our trip sometime soon. It was so great, and I won't forget about it for a LONG time :) Here are a few fun pics from the trip... enjoy!

Asher playing in the Lacine's backyard.

LOVING the swingset!

Watching a movie on the iPhone with Hope.

Riding the turtle :)

Chelsi and Hope looking at the giraffes.

Cole - what a ham :O

Hosanna and Hope - beautiful sisters.

All the Lacine girls.

Hope looking confused but adorable.

Hosanna found some pretty flowers at the pumpkin patch.

Hosanna and Caleb were great pals... they were playing "King and Queen" here! Caleb (along with his parents and little sister) came from Portland to come to the conference... it was SO great to meet them!

Asher and papa looking at the giraffes at Como Zoo in St. Paul.

Our family portrait - heehee! Gotta love our boys!!

Halloween, ugh.

2010-11-01T21:48:00.000-07:00

I've never been a huge fan of Halloween. When we were REALLY little, my parents let us trick or treat for a couple years. Then, for a few years we didn't, then, we did again a few years after that. I think some of the pressure of public school may have been an issue? I don't know about now, but back when I was in grade school, the entire school did a whole "Halloween Day" where all the classrooms paraded through the other classrooms, had candy, played games... it was quite the ordeal.

Anyway, I'm writing to just kind of put this thought out there. I don't get the point of Halloween! I mean, I've read stuff on where it originated from, what it first meant to those who started it and I do realize that for most Americans, it's just a fun thing. What I don't really get is why we do it. Why? Christians especially, why? What's the point? Just to have fun? Okay, I can see that a little bit. Free candy, family time, artistic expression, meeting neighbors and of course, getting your little kiddos all dressed up. Sure, good points, all of them.

I just fail to see how Halloween, albeit super-far removed from the old Celtic beliefs and practices, is something we should encourage or give so little thought to. Maybe more people think hard about this issue/Holiday than I realize... if so, no one has said a single thing to me. I mean, don't we (as Christians) get on other people's cases during Thanksgiving and ESPECIALLY Christmas about staying true to what these Holidays are based on? Last year, our church showed the Advent Conspiracy video and encouraged us to think about how we have just gone along with the flow of what Christmas has become for godless Americans. Yet, at Halloween, we hand out candy, are encouraged to dress up our children and participate in a holiday that is far removed from its origins (and thankfully so) but not a single thought-provoking word is given about what this looks like?? Weird, just weird.

I find myself tempted to just give in, after all, it's all in the name of family fun and adventure... seems harmless enough. My kids would be SO cute dressed up as little animals or something creative! I feel the pressure to do something I don't even want to do and that people wouldn't give me any crap about. I realized last night that if I can give in to something for such shallow reasons, there are likely other things in my life I might give in to for reasons that seem really good or will gratify other deeper longings. I don't know, I don't have a good example really... I'm just pondering. How can we so easily fall into doing things for the sake of doing? For the sake of fun? I am serious here, if you have some good reasons or good insights, just share them with me! Publicly or privately is fine.

All I know, is that I want my energies to be spent on reaching the lost and helping other Christians continue in the faith, not just doing what everyone else does so that I can have some fun too. I don't think that all my Christian friends who dress up their children are terrible people. I do think that we don't think (or talk) about this stuff. How many regular "rituals" do we have that are mostly purposeless and are completely molded in with this tainted world? Halloween was based on fear, based on warding off evil spirits... things which we know as Christians have ZERO power over us when we proclaim Jesus' name. So for me, I just don't get the point. Unless God truly changes my heart on this, we'll spend every Halloween enjoying company together as a family (at home, at the mall, wherever) encouraging one another while it is still called today. Because the less we think about what we are purposefully doing for God's kingdom, the less we are going to be doing it. And really, when Christ comes, I don't want to be trick or treating, or watching movies, or whining or doing my hair (maybe I won't be able to help that one)... I want to be pursuing Him and at this point in my life, I have trouble seeing how Halloween fits in with that.

If you want to see a good overview of Halloween's history, here's a good link...
http://www.history.com/topics/halloween

Family Photos!

2010-10-29T14:21:00.001-07:00

We had our family photos done a week or so ago by my good friend Amber. She is AMAZING! She also did our family/maternity photos last summer and once again, she has given us just awesome pics! So, she's also giving me a free print if I can get 25 comments on her blog under our photos posting... go here...
http://www.eternalgracephotography.com/blog/armstrong-family

and comment away!! Pretty please?? :) Enjoy the photos!

Oh, and hire her someday if you get the chance! She's in Spokane, WA but makes a trip down to Oregon a few times a year to visit friends and family... or for weddings too. She's worth every penny!

This is a test!

2010-10-28T14:54:00.001-07:00

I'd like to save myself the hassle of logging in and out of difference google accounts all the time... we'll see if I can do this... I'll likely have to ask for Mark's help!

Asher pushes Cole around... In a good way

2010-10-22T17:59:00.000-07:00

Change is comin'!

2010-10-19T20:53:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to keep this under wraps until things panned out... no, not another baby! We love our kids, but two is good for now - and very possibly for a LONG time :)

I am super excited to announce that in Spring 2011 I will be the Jumps Coach for the Track & Field team at Corban Univeristy!! It's a Christian University in Salem, OR with a track & field program that is only 2 years old. This year, we've got several jumpers coming on board who have great marks and could use some more precise coaching than Corban has had recently. My friend (from my GFU track & field days), Brad Bates, is the Assistant Cross Country coach and the sprint coach at Corban, and he referred me for the position. The head coach, Norm Berney, is giving me a tremendous amount of freedom in coaching and he and Brad will be taking care of my athletes the 2 days a week I will not be at practices. (Also crazy... his brother lives in Coos Bay and he used to watch my HS coach Fran Worthen run when she was just out of HS!) Coach Berney & Corban are also giving me lots of flexibility with the kids... I'm still in shock that I get to do this!

Track has been a great passion of mine for a while. I'll admit it though, I'm kind of a wimp. I didn't work as hard as I should have, and I think I was afraid of trying my best and still not being the best... so I (ignorantly & ridiculously) went with the option of not trying at all. Sadly, I'm pretty out of shape now, though getting better every day, but I'm so blessed to get back into training and becoming a support and encouragement for young, Christian athletes. I know my coach at GFU has had such a great impact on my life... I don't know where I would be without his support and the friendship his wife has given me. I look forward to seeing how God will use me in this role.

This means all my other endeavors are getting kicked. I do love taking photos, but this summer has really shown me that it's just not what I want to spend my energies pursuing. It leaves me drained, not energized. I understand that work is tiring, but I am seeing that God wants me to get closer to Him and share Him with others and I truly see this as an opportunity from Him to do just that, while most of my photographic endeavors have been drawing me away from Him, tempting me to pursue the things of the world. I've never been closer to God than when I am out working hard at something He made me good at. I can't wait!! And I'm sure you will be hearing all about it! Mark is already calling me coach and Asher is chiming in right behind him. I know my boys will love going to track meets and I really can't wait to get the season started! Time to hit and books (or rather, google) and plan workouts... it's going to be hard work and I'm trusting God to use me in this role to impart His love to these students. Did I mention I am excited?? January is just around the corner... wish me luck!

Family Photos at Heiser Farms!

2010-10-09T07:38:00.000-07:00

Darlene Taylor and I have a little booth set up at Heiser Farms today! You can get a family photo taken and receive a 5x7 print for $25 or an 8x10 print for $30. You can also get the image on a CD for $50. No matter what you order, we'll ship it to your address within 1-2 weeks. It's a bit wet out today, but we're in a covered area so you'll be dry while getting your photos taken ;) We plan on being there every Saturday in October so come get a family photo at a great price and pay us a visit!!

Eva Rose Hansen and her 3 adorable boys!

Taken at Heiser Farms Family Photo Booth.

Life on the farm

2010-09-29T08:43:00.000-07:00

Cole makes his shot

2010-09-24T19:18:00.000-07:00

Comparing!

2010-09-23T20:42:00.000-07:00

My friend will often post a picture of her newest little boy, and then post another pic of her oldest son to kinda show how they look alike and differ... I haven't been doing this so I thought I would post a few from the boys' first year of life!! Fun huh?? And in case you hadn't noticed (you will soon), my boys don't look too much alike... ah well, they are both super cute anyway! Enjoy!!

Asher at 3 weeks.

Cole at 2 weeks.

Asher at about 2 months.

Cole at 2 months.

Asher at 4 months.

Cole at 4 months (with Aunt Naomi).

Asher at 6 months.

Cole at 6 months.

Asher at 9 months.

Cole at 9 months.

Asher on his 1st Birthday.

Cole on his 1st Birthday.

Cole at 5 months, Asher at 23 months.

We sure love these boys!

New Plan.

2010-09-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

Alright, after much deliberation and constant thinking and praying about this... I've decided to take my photography up a notch. I love taking photos and I love helping people, but it's time that I run this like a real business instead of a fun little hobby. That means checking profits, checking costs and inevitably, changing my pricing. Thanks so much to all of you who have let me take your photos and use them for portfolio use!!! I would not be where I am today without you! And for all of you big purchasers, thanks for choosing me for your portraits, wedding and whatever else... I love having you as a client!

I made a new website that reflects my new look and gives a general idea of my pricing. I'm excited to really be working hard at this and learn the self-discipline it takes to run a viable business that will compete with other photographers in the area. Stay tuned as I'll be changing my web addresses to reflect my actual site and my photography blog - both of which will still be called JoliPhoto. Also, stay tuned for updates regarding some photo activities my good friend Darlene Taylor and I will be attempting together! Including (but not limited to) a senior portrait party and Harvest Mini-Shoots at a local pumpkin patch! So fun!!

So, here's my site... I'll soon be removing the wix.com ads once I know it's working well and people like it... so give me some feedback and spread the love!!

www.wix.com/joliphoto/Main-Page

Warning: Lots of photos!

2010-09-04T14:41:00.000-07:00

A few photos of the beach and TONS from Cole's 1st birthday... well, just him and Asher enjoying the cake :)

Cole was happy to just play on a blanket... no sand for him!

It didn't take much convincing to get Asher out in the sand this time...

Since Mark and Cole share a birthday, Mark had a #3 cupcake to combine with Cole's to make his 31 :)

Liking the flame at first...

But not a fan of the smoke :(

I'd say he liked the cake a bit!

Asher liked it too!

Yes, Cole was crying... he hit my tooth with his head... true story :(

View of the North Bend bridge on our way out of town.

My Time in Coos Bay.

2010-08-30T21:23:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted here. It's been a busy couple of weeks. First the trip to Texas - and all the getting ready stuff for that - and after just a week we headed down to Coos Bay. Mark took a trip with my dad down to CA to hit some race tracks and visit old friends and family. I decided to come down and spend the week with my mom and 2 of my sisters, and of course, the boys too :)

Boy, have they been a handful! Cole is teething with his 1 year molars and has been hot and cold, so to speak. Great for a day or two, then crabbier as I've ever seen him for another day or two. Crazy that he turns 1 tomorrow! And Mark turns 31!!! Asher has been pretty good for the most part. He's been melting down more and more in the evening, most likely just from missing his papa. But overall, it's been a great trip. We had quite a few outings (wal-mart of course)... trip to a park, the playground across the street, the Boardwalk, the Blackberry Festival, coffee and more shopping... eventful enough to keep the boys busy but not too crazy.

But, I'm exhausted! At home it's tough to keep up with the boys, but it gets harder when the house isn't totally baby-proofed and when all your stuff is just in a bag :) I had lots of help tho, just not much sleep! But Mark comes home tonight... within the hour!! So, hopefully next week I'll get some sleep and a break. I also have a TON of work to do, finishing the last 20 photos from one wedding and about 200+ from two other weddings... I'll likely be needed a babysitter one or two days the next 2 weeks, maybe 3... feel free to volunteer!!

Lately, God has been really doing things in me. I feel like I haven't had the chance to break away and really spend time in prayer, talking to Him and listening to Him. I feel like our life is changing (what's new) and I wonder what the future holds. I have ideas, desires, obligations, responsibilities and most of all, I have questions about where God would have me. I know I want to give up all my personal pursuits to chase after His plans and goals, but what's the best route? What does that LOOK like? Does He want me to do stuff here or is there something, somewhere else I should be doing? I just wonder. No answers yet. So, I suppose the best route is to just keep seeking Him and putting all my efforts into what is currently going on in my life and the things that come up. I just wonder, at what point should a person, namely myself, just stop what they are doing and pursue something else? Like missions work or something like that. Anyway, that's a little sneak peak into my jumbled mess of a brain :)

I'll put up some photos over the next couple of days from our little trip. Hope to connect with may of you dear friends soon... I need some down time!!! Love you all!

A Few Snapshots from Our Trip!

2010-08-16T07:57:00.000-07:00

Life Happening!

2010-08-04T09:51:00.000-07:00

I always seem to get busy don't I? :) Thankfully, you all understand.

God has been doing so many things in my heart and life and I wish I could explain it all to all of you! I've been reading more in the Word every day and also reading a few books on my iPhone Kindle App. I definitely recommend reading "The Forgotten God" by Francis Chan and "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore. Interestingly, I've taken away several truths from these books that were exactly in line with what God was teaching me. And while these books are about very different things, the underlying truth about God's way is the same. Something I'm really working on since reading these books, is allowing God's Spirit to guide me and acting in obedience once He calls. Doing that is the only way to have victory over sin... to be attentive what God tells me (in my "average" days and extraordinary days) then to actually DO what He desires instead of what gratifies myself and my "needs." I say needs in quotes b/c I'm also learning that this physical world is a lot less permanent than what I admit. Can I get an amen? :)

On another note, potty training Asher has been a huge success!! And I'm so blessed to say that. I was incredibly nervous about this endeavor and like Kristine Blackburn told me, I was really shocked that he is old enough to really be able to do it! Also, the Blackburns are finally moving down to Sacramento where Michael has been working 4 days a week and flying home on weekends for almost 4 years now! It's a blessing and a sadness, as they are some of the "founding fathers" of the church we attend. I will greatly miss her wisdom and grace... this next year of bible study will NOT be the same and I'm curious to see what God will be doing!

Asher is talking more and more every day. He's singing songs, picking out phrases from things he hears in music or movies (or our conversations). He's showing lots of aptitude (or at least desire) to play the guitar. Mark has been letting him strum his guitar and showing Ash a few chords too. Every morning Asher is in our room, trying to grab the guitar saying "Papa play guitar? Please? Say yes?" He plays guitar on any object that is wider than 3 inches. He especially loves to watch himself in the mirror :) He plays on brooms, spoons, shovels, sweatshirts all wadded up, phones, books... and he looks just like he's holding a pick too! So cute. So entertaining. We've video taped it several times... we'll share soon enough.

Cole has really turned into a little boy! He's standing up on furniture and interacting with us more and more. He seems to say "yeah" a lot. Anytime you ask him something. And he does it with a cute surprised look on his face. He also is more into books, sometimes sitting a looking at several for a few quiet minutes. He plays REALLY well by himself too which is a great blessing for us. He wakes up most morning around 5:45 tho, which while it is not directly a blessing, is right along with the theme of self-discipline and acting out in faith... a few more of the things I've been learning :) Cole will walk when you hold his hands and sometimes he can do it while only holding one hand... won't be long!! He also really loves grandpa, and I mean REALLY! Yesterday grandpa came into the room while Cole was in his highchair and there was no consoling that kid until grandpa came back and picked him up! I'm talking about screaming, crocodile tears, sad expressions... it was unreal! But I am really thankful for the bond my kids will have with their grandparents on both sides. Asher is always asking about grandpa Boatright and saying "in Coos Bay?" Our families are such blessings.

Lastly, next week we are going to Texas for Claire's wedding! Claire is one of Mark's cousins and their wedding photographer fell through. Basically, I'll be shooting their wedding in exchange for them bringing Mark and I out there for a few days. It'll be great! I don't feel too anxious, the kids will be in good hands (Mom and Dad A for 2 days, Tracy for the last 2). I feel great about doing the wedding... I'm more nervous about the heat in Bryan, TX during the middle of August!! But honestly, I'm totally fine with either being inside a hotel room or at the mall or movies the entire trip :) Mark and I have NEVER stayed at a hotel together for more than 1 night since we've been married, and we've never been away from both boys for more than 1 night either so this will be quite the treat for us!

Alright, well, I've got to update some stuff on The Giving Portal before Cole wakes up. Check the site for ways to give... I'll be getting more of that stuff done soon! Oh, and I'll post some wedding photos up this week too! Bye.

11 months old! What a crack-up :)

2010-07-31T19:46:00.000-07:00

Asher is Fruit Ninja!

2010-07-29T07:58:00.000-07:00

Ash enjoying the games at the Apple store.

2010-07-28T10:48:00.000-07:00

"Just a click here..."

Good times in Pacific City.

2010-07-24T19:23:00.000-07:00

Asher got a haircut!

2010-07-23T20:29:00.000-07:00

Potty Training - For Real!

2010-07-15T22:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, Asher is officially being potty trained. We started on Tuesday, mid-morning after his bath. He did AWESOME!!! No accidents AT ALL until 7pm when we left him in his high chair a bit long while drinking his chocolate milk :) We have a 3 strikes policy though, and Wednesday morning he hit that limit. After going 2 times after waking up, he wet himself while standing over my brand new shoes after having gone only 20 minutes before. Then, the whole pooping in the potty thing did not happen. Then, another poop and pee... all within an hour or so. I was a bit hesitant about today thinking "Man, maybe it was fluke. Maybe he just can't hold it." But, only 1 accident again today! And this was after 6:30pm after a lot of water and (ashamedly) soda :)

Today, we drove out to Tracy's apartment to pick up Shannon, then out to NE Portland to drop off a check and Asher did AMAZING! We made it almost 50 minutes (part of that sleeping) on our way to Tracy's and he stayed dry the entire time! I'm so proud, and relieved!!! On the way home he slept for almost an hour and did wet then, but that's to be expected. I was super nervous about potty training but Asher seems to be understanding the concept. If he has to go and I'm not taking him, he just start to pull down his undies and say "underwear off!" until I help rush him to the bathroom. Also, he LOVES his "Cars" underwear so that motivates him to stay dry too.

Anyway, that's what I've been busy with - that, and editing, feeding, still changing boy #2's diapers, bottles, meals and everything else in-between. Tomorrow, Shannon and I are going to go out SUPER early and take a bunch of dance photos for stock stuff. Should be FUN! Not the early part, but the rest :) Stay tuned for those photos. I'll post a couple teaser wedding shots from Derek and Sarah's big day for your viewing pleasure. Thanks!

Growing boys!

2010-07-12T15:55:00.000-07:00

Asher, Starbucks and dominos = perfect combination!

2010-07-07T18:29:00.000-07:00

Busy weekend!

2010-07-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

This weekend, 2 good friends got married! Derek and Sarah are so amazing and I was so blessed that they chose to hire me as their photographer!! It was a beautiful wedding, so sincere and Christ centered... and there was so much crazy dancing at the end... cracked me up!

So, my Saturday (and Tracy's) was filled with wedding stuff as we documented their day in photos. I realized early on in the day that I had misplaced my keys. I thought I had left them in my purse, then locked my purse in the car. I had to call Mark from the ranch where the wedding was at - where most of us had no cell service - which left the caller ID as "blocked" so Mark didn't answer and was not able to call me back. I told him I was locked out of the car, and if he could get our other set of keys from Paul (another long story) and bring them to the wedding when he arrived (he was planning on coming anyway, since they are dear friends). He handed me the keys and I thanked him heartily... I felt like such a dork!

After the wedding, Tracy and I headed to the car, looked in the purse... nope, no keys!! We looked EVERYWHERE! Luckily, we had only gone a few places between leaving the car initially and realizing my keys were lost so we didn't have too much ground to cover. Nothing! No one turned them in, not anywhere on the grounds and not anywhere in the car. We drove home at 10pm and I was feeling dreadful. All of Mark's other keys were on that key ring. Was he going to be upset? Would he just shrug it off? I was nervous to say the least, while praying that God would miraculously make the keys appear in the car before we got home.

After a few hellos, how are yous, tired replies, and saying hi to my family (who is visiting), I admitted that I could not find his keys anywhere. He said "What are you talking about? I have my keys." I go "Huh?" He goes "I got them out of your purse before I gave you yours. How did you think I drove home?" Oh my goodness!!! I was just so glad that Tracy and I didn't look longer! And so relieved! I didn't even think "I have my van key, so Mark must have the other key to drive the van home." Ha! It was a great ending after all :)

I'll give you more details about the amazing wedding later... just thought you'd get a kick out of that story. A few boy updates: Asher threw up (again) on the way home from the wedding with Mark. It was strange though b/c it was MILES after all the turns, on a very straight road. Asher said "Tummy hurt." Mark said "Does your tummy hurt b/c you are hungry?" Asher "No. Bleh!!!!!" You just have to laugh. Luckily, most of it was contained to the car seat. I felt bad b/c Mark had to clean it up while taking care of both boys. They ended up in the bath, which was convenient since it was "bath day" and I had forgotten to mention that to Mark :) Cole was getting cranky at the wedding so Mark fixed him a bottle and let him hold it in the car on the way home. He's been doing really well with holding it himself! He sucked it dry and then tossed it overboard - so sweet. They are getting cuter every day.

Since Asher got his sandals all pukey and since they have not yet been run through the wash, we decided this morning that he need another pair of sandals. So Mark took Ash to wal-mart before church. While there, Asher picked out a really cool pair of flip-flops (that we walks surprisingly well in) and Mark found a little UV protective shirt on sale for $3. Looks like the kid is starting to really grow attached to things he likes... he wore those flip-flops ALL DAY -indoors and outside! And he cried crocodile tears when I took his shirt off for bedtime. I thought about letting him sleep in it, but I figure the sooner he knows limits on being attached to objects, the better. After all, we aren't supposed to be attached to the things of the world, might as well get that message clearly stated to him at a young age. After a little crying, he calmed down and thoroughly enjoyed reading his trucks book before bed. Gotta love it!

So, here's a cute image of the entry way at the wedding where the couple had signs posted. The wedding was at 5 Rock Ranch in Yamhill, OR. Actually, it's more like in the middle of the hillsides, miles and miles outside of Yamhill ;) It's gorgeous out there! And the staff (especially the coordinator Kelsey) was amazing!!! More pics to come, week by week!

Another Photo Poll :)

2010-06-25T16:27:00.000-07:00

Just went on a photo shoot to a couple spots in Carlton I'd been wanting to photograph. Dar and I agree that this was a very productive shoot for both of us... even tho I accidentally deleted all the photos of the 1st location (stupid)!! I plan to recover them tho, since I didn't format my card and realized what I had done about 2 seconds after I confirmed the delete. Worst case scenario - $15 and it's fixed.

Okay, so, after playing around with more editing, I'm curious what photo is more appealing. The wheat image is definitely more fathomable for retail purchase than the couch image from before, so tell me, if you were going to buy one, which version would it be? And which image do you think is most (if at all) "gallery worthy?" I'm also posting a 4th image just b/c it was TOTALLY drab before and I made it looked a ton better... good?? Thanks!!

Original Colors with editing.

Color overlay and style.

Hue overlay.

I would show the before, but I'd be embarrassed... it's SUPER DRAB!

Sorry!

2010-06-19T12:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of blogging lately. It's been a little hectic.

Mark has been working part-time at PDR but has then been working more than part-time on SavageApps - the company him and his friends run making all their iPhone apps. They have iambeatbox, the upgraded version of iambeatbox, BeatBox Ultra, and TechnoBox Acid. They are all super fun... even if you can't keep a beat, the app keeps the rhythm for you and all you have to do is move the "gems" around to choose a different sound and beat. Asher even likes to play!

I've been keeping extremely busy with the photography stuff. Shoots, editing, driving, editing... even with taking care of the kids, trying to finish cleaning the tile floors that are covered in filth from the previous owners, figuring out how to eat gluten-free without starving myself and just doing all the other random household stuff. Yesterday, I finally put up a bunch of our frames and photos and tried to clean up our bedroom a bit. It has kind of become a storage place for items that have no place yet. Once we get our deposit from the old place back, we hope to go to Ikea and get some much needed shelving and storage items :)

As far as the gluten free stuff goes, I'm pretty sure I need to do it. I went 4 weeks without and then almost a full week with and I did alright. No digestive issues besides gas and gurgling, but man, am I feeling bad. Just achy, tired, tired and did I say tired?? My back feels bruised and strained, my head is in a fog constantly and I am just plain crabby. So, back off the wheat. It'll be worth it to feel halfway sane again.

Well, I have crying kids and it's almost naptime. I'll update again soon... well, sooner or later ;)